Tag: Parenthood

Thankful to be a Mom

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When you’re little, you dream of what you want to be when you grow up.

A doctor. A movie star. A singer. An astronaut. A Firefighter.

There were a few things on my list and they have changed throughout the years. The one constant is that I wanted to be a mom.

I had a whole plan of having 3 kids by the time I was 30. Since plans never actually go as…planned….I started at 32 and have two amazing kids today. Although financially stressful, I am fortunate enough to be home with them everyday. Watching them change and grow – mentally, emotionally and physically – has been the biggest joy of my life.

I’m only (a few weeks shy of) 4 years into mommyhood and I have learned so much about love, life and myself. There are a million stressful and tiring moments but I wouldn’t change them for anything. I am thankful everyday, appreciate all the ups and downs and can’t believe I get to experience my dream “job” and do what I feel I was meant to do. How many people get that lucky?

To all the moms out there (and dads) you’re doing an amazing job! If we can work hard to help these little people become kind, considerate, respectful, happy adults – we have succeeded! Keep learning and growing with them. One day when they’re adults with families of their own you’ll wonder with the time went and miss even the craziest of moments. Embrace the changes and don’t forget to cut yourself a break once in awhile.

You got this. You’re rocking it. And we’re in it together! Let’s help these little world changers as they embark on their own crazy journey. I can’t wait to see who they become!

Happy Mother’s Day 💕

Stop and Smell the Tulips

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Every May, our local park becomes so colorful thanks to beautiful Tulips.

When the kids woke up from naps on Monday, we went to check them out and of course stop by the playground. It had been a long week with ‘Baby J’ being sick, a few rainy days and another cancelled Chicago trip.

‘J’ has really been into Spiderman for the last month or two. He likes the Spiderman merchandise and books but he’s not that into the cartoons. On the way to the park he said he wanted to get a BIG Spiderman comic book. Then he started a conversation with his sister asking which comic book she wanted. He decided she wanted Minnie. We couldn’t resist the cuteness and after the park we headed over to the comic book store where he did indeed find a BIG Spiderman comic book, a Disney Princess comic book for his sister and the store through in some freebies along the way (including another Spiderman comic and Star Wars).

We came home and barbecued dinner. Being outside meant playing soccer, T-ball, chalk and bubbles. Once ‘Baby J’ went to sleep, we decided to make s’mores in our table fire pit. This was ‘J’s’ first time roasting marshmallows and since he can’t do dairy, it was more like a marshmallow sandwich. He loved every second of it. The night ended with his normal bath and movie routine.

All of these things happened in about 3-4 hours. Seems like a week’s worth of activities! We had so much fun and it was a great reminder that sometimes you have to just stop and go with the flow. It’s so easy to get caught up in the normal routine. We finally have some beautiful weather and we need to take advantage.

I highly recommend stopping, taking a deep breath and enjoying all the fun moments with your kids. It’s cliche but they really do change and grow so fast. The normal daily routine won’t make many memories, but days like Monday will.

It’s Spring! Don’t forget to stop and smell the….Tulips!

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Heavy Work Activities (Proprioceptive Input)

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Yesterday I talked about how Brushing Therapy can be used as a calming effect. ‘J’s’ Occupational Therapist and I have also discussed implementing some heavy work activities. She gave me a print out with some background information on how this may help:

Propriocepive input is the performance of tasks that involves heavy resistance and input to the muscles and joints. It is essential in helping our bodies integrate and process both movement (vestibular) and touch (tactile) information. Proprioception is a form of sensory input to the muscles and joints which makes us aware of our “position in space” (where we are in relation to other objects or people). Children to have difficulty grading and planning their movements and regulating their level of arousal.” 

Heavy work activities include:

  • Whole body actions involving pushing, pulling, lifting ,playing and moving
  • Oral actions such as chewing sucking and blowing
  • Use of hands for squeezing, pinching or “fidgeting”

The resistive input obtained through heavy work activities is generally organizing and can improve attention, arousal level, body awareness and muscle tone, as well as descrease defensiveness. 

The activities are broken up into the categories of: carrying objects, pushing or pulling objects, jumping and bouncing, climbing/hanging, sandwich/squishing, working on a vertical surface, resistive tools or toys, chewy foods, resistive sucking and blowing activities.

We’re not on any sort of schedule with these activities and most of them are already in his daily routine while he’s playing. We got a trampoline last year and he’s been obsessed with it ever since. If he can’t go jump on that, he is just fine jumping on the floor. He loves playing on his easel and writing with chalk. And lucky for us, he offers to help bring in groceries! Of course he can’t hold the bags that are too heavy.

I’ll definitely try some others on the list that we haven’t already to see how he responds. Like I’ve said before, a lot of this is trial and error and I’m willing to go through it all if it means helping him get through his daily activities.

Brushing…And I don’t Mean Your Teeth

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‘J’ will not be receiving Speech or Occupational Therapy (OT) over the summer. Both will start back up again in September.

We did have speech last summer and he just started OT in February. Therefore, I’m a little skiddish about not having either for a couple of months, while at the same time welcoming the break. In the meantime, we’re finally in a good groove with OT after a rough and late winter of snow storms in the midst of school breaks and I want to make sure we maximize the resource while we have it.

The Wilbarger Protocol

One of the newest activities of our days has been incorporating “The Wilbarger Protocol” or in simpler terms “Brushing Therapy.” The following was taken from nationalautismresources.com:

The Wilbarger Protocol (also referred to as brushing therapy) is often a part of a sensorysensory+clear integration or sensory therapy program. It involves brushing the body with a small surgical brush throughout the day. People who exhibit symptoms of tactile defensiveness are extremely sensitive to touch.

The complete protocol usually takes 2-3 minutes to administer. The first step involves using a soft, plastic, sensory brush or Therapressure Brush which is run over the child’s skin, using very firm pressure; it is like a deep pressure massage. 

After Brushing, we also do joint compressions in his arms and legs. Since it is similar to a deep pressure massage, serotonin and dopamine are released throughout the body resulting in a calming effect. For the first two weeks (we’re on Day 4) it is done on a schedule of every 2 hours unless the child is sleeping. In ‘J’s’ case, we’re also not doing it while he is in school. After the two weeks, we can reassess how much it has helped, if at all, and create a less vigorous schedule. So far he likes it. There is not a ton of research behind this technique but it has helped many.

Worst case scenario-it definitely can’t hurt. Stay tuned for updates!

 

*Image taken from Google Images

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Gonna Be May

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It’s May 1st-I couldn’t resist!

I can’t believe it’s May! May means 1 month and a few days away from ‘J’ turning 4. May means 1 month and 2 weeks until ‘J’ is done with his first year of school. May means finally nice weather and most of our days spent outside. May is feeling like a season of change.

Those who know me know that I am not a fan of change. I know change is necessary, a lot of it is good, but I’m a big fan of nostalgia and also wanting to freeze time. When ‘J’ turned 3, I felt emotional because to me going from 2 to 3 meant saying goodbye to the baby stage. I also knew then that it was much better than 4 which felt like more of a big kid. And now here I am, on the brink of having a 4 year old!

It also feels like the first day of school was just yesterday. It was the first time we were leaving him with anyone aside from a few family members. It was unknown territory and I was used to being with him all day everyday. The thought of having him in school two days a week for a whopping two and a half hours each felt overwhelming to me! Of course I knew he would benefit and grow from the experience. And that definitely happened. He loves his friends and teachers. Loves the routine of school and he’s having fun along the way.

I know he’s going to be so happy to celebrate his birthday. A lot of the family has birthdays in the fall/winter time frame, so he’s been waiting a long time for his. He’s also going to be sad when he’s not in the routine of school over the summer. Luckily I’m already in contact with the parents of his closest friends and I predict many play dates in my future.

Change can be good. ‘J’ is growing and figuring out his world. I’m so lucky to be a part of it and to watch it everyday. But I also can’t believe how fast time goes by and I try to soak it up as best as I can. Oh and it doesn’t matter how far he gets from the baby stage, he will always be my baby boy.

 

 

Feelings

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The first movie ‘J’ ever sat through in its entirety was Pixar’s Inside Out. If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, it takes viewers through the inner workings of an 11 year old’s mind. We get to see how her feelings, dreams and thoughts affect her daily life. The main characters consist of 5 feelings: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear. I’d say those are 5 feelings everyone finds relatable.

I’m not sure I know many adults that understand their feelings so it makes complete sense that navigating feelings for a child is not an easy task. When ‘J’ started being affected by my niece crying or his sister crying, he also became extra sensitive to talking about any negative feeling. If you made a sad face as you were playing, it would result in crying from ‘J.’ If an adult said “oh, that makes me sad” or “oh I’m going to cry,” he would immediately react. We have Inside Out Box of Mixed Emotions books, one for each feeling. He got to the point of not wanting to read Sadness’ book. It broke my heart to see how affected he became by just the mention of a feeling.

Although I was starting to suspect that there may be some sensory processing issues going on, I also wasn’t sure if he was going through a phase. I started looking into other books that talked about feelings, singing Daniel Tiger songs about feelings and was even trying to get him to talk through his tantrums. For a 3 year old, whose words are still catching up to his mind, this was a lot of work. And again, for an adult, this is a lot of work. I didn’t want to push him too much and risk him keeping everything inside.

One of the books I got was “The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain. It goes through all the feelings one could have: silliness, frustration, happiness, boredom and many more. There are pictures associated with each feeling’s description to help the child understand it even more. I mentioned Daniel Tiger songs, but I also picked up Daniel Tiger Happy and Sad books. The show, the songs and his books tackle so many things that kids go through and I find it really helpful. Once we were getting through our Mickey Mouse Clubhouse addiction, ‘J’ had moved into Daniel Tiger and I’m glad he did. We countdown to calm down just like Daniel and associate different situations to how Daniel has handled them. What does Daniel do when he gets mad? How did Daniel feel when his sister wanted to play? What happens when Daniel’s friends didn’t want to play with him? What did Daniel do that was kind? The list goes on!

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Feelings are so tough to navigate and if you’re someone that has sensory processing difficulties and becomes overwhelmed in a lot of situations, it becomes even tougher. Whatever tools you can use to help are worth trying. Books, shows and songs are great for kids since they are drawn to those things already. They’re learning without realizing they’re doing any work. It’s kind of like sneaking vegetables into their cupcakes ;-).

I will always try to get my kids to talk through their feelings. Even when they’re teenagers and they find me extra annoying. Communication is one of the most important tools in life and the sooner they’re able to have that in their tool box, the better!

Below are links to the various books on Feelings as referenced above:

The Way I Feel

I’m Feeling Happy (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)

I’m Feeling Sad (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)

Inside Out Box of Mixed Emotions

Bag ‘O Fun

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As I mentioned in my last blog, “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” we took a trip to Pittsburgh two weeks ago for Spring Break. We’re lucky and thankful that our kids are great on car trips, as long as plenty of snacks and activities are packed. They normally make it to the final hour or two before they need the iPhones.

Although having activities and snacks comes with dropping activities and snack which results in me turning around to get them most of the trip. But it’s a small price to pay for having them locked in seats for 7 hours.

The times the car rides become less fun is when ‘J’s’ sister (‘Baby J’) becomes unhappy because that is an automatic trigger for him. This was one of my earliest red flags of thinking this was all more than just empathy. The result is screaming and crying long after ‘Baby J’ is done whining or crying.

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Along with checking out the Mister Rogers exhibit at the Heinz History Center, we also stopped by the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh. If you haven’t been there, I recommend it. It’s huge and there’s so much to see and do!

Since it’s so big and it was a Saturday, there was a big crowd. ‘J’ was definitely overwhelmed. He wasn’t unhappy just unsettled. He didn’t stay in one place too long, didn’t go over to exhibits if there were too many people around it and was extra clingy. Luckily they have a great art area with painting and clay. This was a much quieter space and we spent most of our time in this spot.

I was talking to ‘J’s’ Occupational Therapist after our trip about his triggers and she suggested having a backpack with some items they may help calm him in these situations. At home, he’s good about going to his room to reset himself if he’s feeling overwhelmed. When we’re out in public or he’s locked into a car seat, it’s not as easy. Luckily we have quite a few backpacks on hand and I’ve since put one together with his headphones, sensory bottle, his squishy fidget dinosaur, small toys and his water bottle. We brought the headphones on our last plane ride and for some reason I didn’t think to bring them on the car trip. They definitely would’ve been helpful for when ‘Baby J’ was upset.

She also mentioned carrying the backpack may help him since weighted items can provide comfort. We’ve already tried this on shorter car rides (30+ minutes) and so far it has come in handy.

I’m willing to try any and everything that will provide him any comfort or organization for his mind and body. Not all will work, but through trial and error, I know we’ll find the best combination of sensory items and activities.

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

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“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” 

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” 

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” 

“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.” 

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” 

“You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you; and I like you just the way you are.”

These are just a few of the many amazing quotes are by the one and only Fred Rogers.

Two weeks ago, we decided to take a trip to Pittsburgh during spring break. Not the first place that comes to most people’s mind when you think of spring break, but we wanted to check out the Mister Rogers Exhibit at the Heinz History Center.

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Admittedly, I did not grow up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Of course I had seen it, but my brother had been a fan when he was younger and I didn’t take to it in the same way. As I got older and learned more about him, watched interviews and read articles, I came to appreciate his message. Now that I’m a mom, it speaks to me even more.

With his 50th anniversary last month, PBS started showing some old episodes. I wasn’t sure how the kids would react to it since it’s older, slower and not all the sparkle that is everywhere on children’s programming now. Once I put it on, both ‘J’s,’ ages 3 and 1IMG_6907.jpg, were hooked. Mister Rogers never needed the sparkle, and it still holds true.

Although the exhibit isn’t big, it doesn’t have to be. As soon as you walk in, you’re transported to the land of make believe. You can see King Friday’s castle, Henrietta’s Treehouse, the trolley and of course a few puppet friends. There are so many little details from Mister Rogers’ shoes to the trolley. They are playing clips from the show and have two booklets you can read through about Mister Rogers’ life and the show.

There weren’t many people there on the Friday that we visited, but you almost felt the need to talk quietly. Everyone was there to take it all in and appreciate the artifacts from the show. His fanbase and the people he has affected spans 50 years.

Pittsburgh is a 6-7 hour drive for us and we took 48 hours out of our spring break to make the trip. As a bonus, the Heinz History Center also has a great kids’ area with building blocks, air tunnels, coloring and more! Of course there are many great exhibits for adults as well. If you can get there to visit, I highly recommend you do. You won’t regret it!

And now Mister Rogers defending PBS to the US Senate Subcommittee of Communications. A clip that shows the power of Mister Rogers perfectly:

 

Transitioning Back to a Routine

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Last week was spring break here in NY which meant no school, no speech therapy and no occupational therapy. The week started pretty gloomy weather wise and we had 3 indoor days. On Thursday we decided to take a trip to Pittsburgh to check out the Mr. Rogers exhibit. If you haven’t been, I definitely recommend it! The Heinz History Center, where the exhibit is located, is great for kids in addition to seeing all the cool Mr. Rogers memorabilia.  More on the trip in another blog.

When I was working and would take time off for a trip, I would always make sure there was a buffer day when I returned. A day to come home, chill out, do some laundry, etc. before jumping back into work. Probably seems silly considering I was just on a vacation, but I never wanted to go right back into the normal daily routine.

‘J’ loves routine. If he doesn’t know the agenda for the day or if curveballs are thrown in, he’s not a happy camper. Of course after a week away from school and services, while doing a small trip away, there would be a readjustment period. It’s Wednesday and I think we’re still in it.

He’s had periods of acting out, two meltdowns during school yesterday and hesitation with OT and Speech today. I’m pretty sure he’s had a small cold the last few days as well, which I’m sure isn’t helping. But it all makes sense and coming from someone who needed a buffer day after a cruise, how could I not understand?

I’m hoping over the next few days the ups and downs return to more ups and less downs. I hate seeing him upset and affected by his surroundings. I know he does too.

 

Indoor Activities

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As a kid, I was not a fan of arts and crafts! Becoming a stay at home mom, I’ve definitely gone outside my comfort zone and tried new crafts and activities here and there. I’m thankful for Instagram and Pinterest! If I’m not doing exactly what I see in posts, then it will get me to think of a similar idea tailored to both ‘J’s.’

Last week was our Spring break and we kicked it off with six inches of snow on the first day and a rainy day the next! To say I’m over winter and ready to be outside with some nice weather would be an understatement. The kids love going for walks, playing at the playground or just hanging in the backyard. I’m itching to do more of that! Needless to say I’ve been trying out new activities with help from social media.

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Like most kids (and adults), ‘J’ loves LEGOs! When I saw this all over Pinterest, I knew we had to try! I printed up some LEGO tower patterns and got out the Duplos.

*Side note: one day I gave ‘J’ an online IQ test just for fun and he had to match patterns. He was so into it, he asked to “play” it again the next day, so I knew he would be into this version with LEGOs!

This activity is great for gross motor skills, learning patterns, practicing colors and following direction.

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Moon Sand

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An indoor sandbox? What kid would say no to that?!

I was a little hesitant to try this one since I wasn’t sure if the ‘Js’ could keep it contained. But I got out a big sheet and took a chance. I’m so happy I did!

There are different recipes out there for making moon sand. Due to the supplies I had around my house, I went with 5 cups of flour and 1 cup of vegetable oil. Once I started mixing, I probably added a little bit more of both. I would definitely recommend the 5:1 ratio as a good starting point. The sand shouldn’t be too powdery but not too thick either.

I mixed it in a disposable cooking pan, threw in some toys and sent them on their way! The pictures are from the beginning with only a few items. By the end there were plenty of figures, cars, cups, spoons, etc. all enjoying the indoor beach day. This activity kept my 3 year old occupied for about an hour straight. Less for my 1 year old, but that’s to be expected.

Cheerio Tower

This was something I saw and threw together based on the few materials I had.

Even though I’ve seen it bigger while using raw spaghetti, why not try smaller play-doh shapes and some toothpicks? It’s all about improvising! Another great activity for gross motor skills, as well as counting (and of course a built in snack).

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Play-Doh 

Not a DIY activity, but a gift from the Easter Bunny instead. Great timing for a snowy/rainy spring break!

I’ve mentioned before that ‘J’ is obsessed with letters, but play-doh is high on his list of favorite things to do. When I saw…um I mean the Easter Bunny couldn’t resist leaving it for him!

An all in one box where you can practice letters, make faces while discussing emotions, match up letters to the right animal or write with a special play-doh pen. A bonus: this activity is great for practicing speech too!

 

The bottom line is, if I can board the DIY activity train, so can you!