Tag: Sensory Processing

Jump Around!

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What is the Vestibular Sense?

The vestibular system contributes to balance and orientation in space. It is the leading system informing us about movement and position of head relative to gravity. – SensoryHealth.org

There are times ‘J’ will jump on his bed at the end of the day. My immediate go-to is to stop him and explain how it’s time to get ready to sleep, not to play. But what he’s doing is bigger than playing. He’s giving his body what he needs in order to get to a more restful state. Yes, I know this seems like a contradiction, but trust me, it’s true.

I’ve been lucky enough to chat with Becky Lyddon from Sensory Spectacle on a few occasions and she is so awesome at explaining sensory life. I have mentioned her in previous blogs and I’ll be sure to link those below. For now, let’s listen to Becky explain the benefits of bouncing on a bed.

We have a trampoline in our backyard and ‘J’ could jump on it for hours. Over the years we have offered time on the trampoline when we can tell that it may be helpful in certain moments. Of course this is aside from just random playtimes when he’s bouncing as well.

I often have to remind myself that jumping on the bed is often exactly what ‘J’ needs and not something he’s doing strictly for the fun of it.

To learn more about the Vestibular Sense and your other 7 senses (yes there are 8), click here.

Previous Blogs Featuring Becky Lyddon:

A Hairy Situation

It’s Too Loud

Sensory Spectacle Resources

Magical Mommy Monday Episode

Amazon Prime Early Access for Sensory Items

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There are so many benefits to sensory items! They can help calm a child, regulate emotions, focus, enhance fine motor skills, improve language skills and so much more.

Amazon is currently running a Prime Early Access promotion today, October 11th and tomorrow, October 12th. Although the links below are affiliate links, they are products (or similar ones) we have in our home.

Click here to check out some of our favorite things!

The Way I Parent

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Fun fact: I didn’t have imaginary friends when I was little, but I did have imaginary children. I have wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Did I have them at the exact age I thought I would? Nope. Did I have as many as I sometimes thought I might? Nope. Life takes twists and turns and leads you to where you’re supposed to be. I’m lucky enough to have hit the jackpot with two awesome kids.

I don’t know that I ever envisioned too much about parenthood outside of – yup, definitely want that! I didn’t really know what kind of parent I wanted to be, couldn’t picture being the parent of school age kids and now that I am, I have a hard time imagining who I’ll be as the parent of high schoolers <cue anxiety>.

I used to love knowing what was going to happen and liked having a plan. I’m not sure when that lessened, but it definitely did over time. And I’m glad it did. For me, it was a more stressful way of living. I think the fact that I was able to let go of some of that, helped open me up to letting my kids show me the way when it comes to parenting.

That sounds weird, even as I type it, since I’m basically just thinking out loud in this blog and wasn’t sure how to phrase that. And don’t mistake what I’m saying, my kids do not run the show. But I do think that growing up in the 80s and 90s, our parents as a society were much different than (most) parents today. We didn’t have much of a choice in…anything, our parents definitely didn’t do as many activities with us, etc.

Please note: I have great parents and had a great childhood. But was it perfect? Of course not. Each generation just tries to move the needle and improve the one before.

Having a child that didn’t talk for two and a half years, with sensory processing difficulties helps tune you in to what they’re needing on a bigger level. I’ve realized how many people expect so much from kids in general. They should behave perfectly in every situation. They should be up to date on social cues, say things even if they don’t mean it, the list goes on and on. Kids are people, just smaller ones. They have thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, they have big feelings and should feel seen and heard. There are so many things that kids still have to do that they won’t like. For example, they’re not going to be excited about going to the doctor, the dentist, some days they may not be into school (hopefully they don’t hate it), homework, etc. But those things have to be done. If there is something either of my kids don’t have to do, don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable about, I’m not going to make them. I choose my battles and hear them out. Are there times they come from a place of no when I know they’d love to do a certain activity or go some place but they just may be fearing the unknown? Of course, and that’s where the balance to everything I’m saying comes in.

We all know our children best. We should always make sure they feel safe, feel seen, feel heard, feel respected and can express any opinion or emotion to us without fear of repercussion. They are still figuring out the world and hopefully will always be on that journey. We should be there to help guide them. I don’t know about you, but I’m still definitely on it. I’m not a perfect parent and never will be. I do try my best and some days are better than others. On the days I felt like I could’ve done better, I make sure to check in with myself, try not to spiral so that I can get up the next morning and try again.

Again, I’m not sure if I ever envisioned the type of parent I would be, but I think having a sensory kid definitely made me more aware of both of my kids as humans and working to keep their emotions, my emotions, our surroundings all in balance. If we’re not regulated, they’re not regulated.

I’ve learned more about myself in these last 8 years of parenting than any other time in my life. I look forward to learning more.

Anticipation

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When I started this blog, I came up with the title “Just My MomSense” because I’m a big believer in trusting your gut.

No one knows your child better than you. This kicks in as soon as they enter the world. You start learning which cries mean hungry or indicate they’re in pain. You start to know by the looks on their face if they’re sick and as they get bigger, you can tell by a look on their face if something bigger is going on.

As a third grader, we have to trust our gut in new ways with ‘J.’ He’s always been big on keeping things bottled up but those feelings end up coming out in different ways. We don’t want this to be a norm for him and try our best to give him the tools he needs to express how he’s feeling. For example, we know there have been times things happen at school but he didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure who to tell or when or didn’t want to interrupt the schedule of the day. We continue to let him know how important it is to speak up and to let someone know how he’s feeling because no one can help him if they don’t know what’s going on.

We’re all about the tools in this house and always have been. For us, therapies have been helpful because they give him more tools for his toolbox to get through his day. I’ve talked before about how things that so many people take for granted throughout their day are tougher for him, so the more tools to help, the better.

One of our tools, as parents, is anticipation. Maybe that isn’t the best word, maybe preparation is better…probably both. We do are best to anticipate and prep him and his sister for upcoming activities. We show pictures, videos when possible, or just explain an itinerary in detail. This helps to avoid fear of the unknown and soften any anxiety that could arise. We also try our best to anticipate how they’re doing in any situation. We can see a look on their face and know they’re uncomfortable or tired or starting to get anxious. When that happens we can pull them to the side or distract them or we can also leave the situation we’re in. It all depends.

Are we perfect at preparation and anticipation? Nope. Do we screw up sometimes and then have to think about why they’re acting a certain way? Yup, plenty. But we try our best and as parents, that’s all we can do.

Having a child with a speech delay and sensory processing difficulties has changed the way we parent both of our kids, more on that in the next blog!

Throwback Thursday

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It’s October which means it’s Sensory Processing Awareness Month! I’ll be doing more posts in the coming days and weeks, but since it’s Thursday, let’s highlight some previous posts, #throwbackthursday style:

Click on the links below to read:

When Is It Empathy And When Is It Sympathy?

OT Approved, Now What?

The Mommy Gut

What is Sensory Processing Disorder?

Is This a Real Thing?

Be sure to check out more of our experiences in previous blogs!

CDC and AAP Milestone Update

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I’m going to be honest. I’ve been writing a few blogs that I was planning on releasing, with a set schedule in mind in order to get back into the blogging game. However, this week the CDC and AAP released an update to their milestone guidelines and I thought, how could I not discuss this current news item?

If you’re new here, please know that I am just a mom and my opinions are coming strictly from that perspective. My son had an expressive speech delay and didn’t talk until two and a half. You can read more about that here. At three, we had him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist for Sensory Processing Disorder. I discussed that in another previous blog: ‘When Is It Empathy and When is it Sensory?’ All this to reiterate that I’m speaking strictly as a mom that has dealt with delays in developmental milestones.

The goal of the CDC and AAP is to help catch developmental delays, as well as Autism, earlier. But as any parent knows, nothing is one size fits all when it comes to kids.

When we were starting to question our son’s speech delay, everyone had an opinion, with the best intentions of course. We heard “oh he’s fine, just give him time” or “so and so didn’t talk until 3, he’s fiiiiine” and of course “he’s perfect, you have nothing to worry about!” As first time parents, our guts were saying one thing but everyone around us was saying another. When he turned 2 in June, his doctor mentioned we could look into having him evaluated or give him a few months to see if it just clicks one day. We gave him two months and decided to go with the evaluation.

On the flip side, our daughter said “Banana” which sounded like “Ah-na-naaaa” as her first word, at 12 months old. From that moment on, she was off and running with talking.

Our son walked at 14 months, where our daughter walked closer to 18 months. Two kids, from the same house, hitting milestones at different times. No one child is the same and they will all develop at different times.

The guidelines are just that and shouldn’t be something that parents feel have to be followed exactly. The updates have certain milestones pushed back, with others pushed ahead. I’m sure doctors, speech therapists, occupational therapists and physical therapists all have their opinions. Here is the one thing I know for sure: trust your gut!

The exact reason I started this blog was to share our experience in hopes of helping others while focusing on that gut feeling. It’s the feeling you have as a parent, because only you know your child best. For me, I refer to it as my “MomSense.” If you are working with a pediatrician that you feel is a good fit for your family, will listen to your concerns and take them seriously, offers advice without being pushy and will care for your child with good bedside manner all while trusting your gut, you and your child will be fine.

You are the number one advocate for your child always. If you feel your child might have a delay, the sooner you have them evaluated, the sooner they have tools in their toolbox to get them through the day to day. Walking, talking, crawling, stacking blocks and so many other things can be easily taken for granted. Family, friends and societal stigmas (which shouldn’t exist but unfortunately do) can sometimes get in the way of what you know to be true.

With these new guidelines, or any others, talk to your doctor and trust your gut. It will not steer you in the wrong direction.

You can read the updates to the Milestone Guidelines, by clicking here.

A Karate Win

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Yesterday was big! ‘J’ knows it and we know it.

If you’ve read this blog before, you know that ‘J’ has had struggles going into school and going to swim lessons. He got through them both, but it was difficult. Before the pandemic, we had attempted a Ninja Warrior class at the same place we used to take mommy and me classes. I thought he would love it. He loves to run, jump and create obstacle courses, this would be perfect!

It wasn’t.

Although I would be able to watch him during the class, a counter separated us which was too much of a separation for ‘J.’ There are things that we have to force him to do that aren’t easy for him: school, going to the doctor, etc. This wasn’t something he HAD to do, so we didn’t go back.

With some time having passed, we decided to try again this past spring. This time, his sister was also old enough for the class and I thought having each other would help.

It didn’t.

His sister however loved it and we signed her up for Ninja Warrior class, as well as Gymnastics. He came with us to watch her a few times and never felt like he was missing out. A feeling I never want him to have. He was ok with his decision which made us ok with it too. In the meantime, we found a LEGO challenge class online and most recently a virtual drawing class. He was comfortable with this set up, especially after a year of virtual school.

Their two best friends recently decided to try classes at the same location. I mentioned it to ‘J’ and asked if would want to try again, he said no and was still ok not being there. Then his sister, and two friends tried the Karate class. This was something we had offered to him before and something we knew he would like. He came with me as we watched the trial class. As he sat there, he kept saying “I wish I could do that too.” I said “You can! I’m sure they’d even let you try this class if you wanted to.” He said he wouldn’t be able to because he would cry. This was the first class where he felt like he was missing out on something. We talked about it as the week went on. I suggested we email the teachers to see if we could arrive a few minutes early, he can get comfortable there and try it out. Each day he went back and forth about it. In the meantime, I had emailed the teachers who have known both kids since they were babies (due to those mommy and me classes) and they said he could absolutely try it out.

‘J’ has gotten all in on Pokemon cards. There’s one in particular he wants and we decided to put it out there as motivation (a bribe?). If he got through 3 Karate classes, he could get the card. He still continued to debate whether or not he wanted to try.

This brings us to yesterday, the day of the class. We didn’t talk about it too much but it was known that today was the day. The kids played outside in the sprinkler, we had lunch, they showered up and we left early to go to class.

The fact that he didn’t get too nervous prior to getting in the car – a win!

We pulled into the parking lot and he said his belly hurt. I told him to take a deep breath and we were just going to do things one step at a time. We walked in, hung out a bit and the teachers said how excited they were that he was going to try the class. He sipped on his water and went in to play on the equipment for a bit. All classes start this way. Although he had made it as far as open play before, I still considered this a win.

I was a bit nervous knowing that his biggest hurdle would be when they officially started class and went over to the red circle for warm ups. The music turned off and the teachers said “ok come on over everybody!” And off he went.

This. was. huge. He was in the circle, warming up, sharing stories. My eyes were welled up. If he did nothing else today, I was so proud of him for getting this far.

He got through the entire class, no tears, no running away, never saying he couldn’t do it. He followed the instructor’s moves, went through the mini workouts and had fun doing it. His first trip out to me for a sip of water he pulled down his mask and said “Am I doing good?” I told him he was doing awesome and his eyes started to well-I told him to take a deep breath, he had this and he ran back in. At the end class, he asked for a uniform and his white belt.

When we got home, I talked to him one on one and asked if he was proud of himself. He said he was and that he had fun. I told him I was too.

This was the first time that we walked into a building and he never had hesitation from that point on. There were no tears, there was no struggle and in the end he was proud of himself.

Was it knowing his sister and best friends were in the class? Was it because this was a class he really wanted to do? Was it the bribe of a Pokemon card? Maybe it was coming off a Disney trip where he went on three big rides and had more confidence? I think a combination of all of the above.

I’m holding back tears writing this because of how monumental it is. I know other parents who have kids with daily struggles understand it. Small wins are wins. Big wins are mind blowing.

Oh, and he’s going back for gymnastics today!

Disney’s Disability Access Service Card

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Back in 2018, I wrote about visiting Disney World with Sensory Processing difficulties. If you’d like to check out that blog, click here.

We just recently returned from a trip to Walt Disney World. As mentioned in that June 2018 blog, I knew that the Disability Access Service Card existed. For this trip, we decided we would play out how ‘J’ would do in the parks, knowing that this was an option.

Looking back, I’m wishing we did it from Day 1.

The first two days of our trip, we tried to wait on lines that were not too long, take our time moving around the park and getting in breaks during the afternoon. However, even on lines that we didn’t feel were too long (15-20 minutes), ‘J’ felt otherwise. He was extremely overwhelmed waiting on line, in a crowd and felt it would take much longer than we were telling him.

If you’re a parent with a child that does not have sensory processing difficulties, you may be thinking: ‘ok but no kid wants to wait on a line in Orlando summer heat.’ And you’re right! And I don’t like it either. But for ‘J’ it’s different and his reactions to it are different. Just like any other day to day activities that may appear easy for us, they’re not always easy for him. This goes under that same umbrella.

So what is the Disability Access Service (DAS) Card? According to the Disney Parks Blog:

The DAS Card is designed to accommodate guests who aren’t able to wait in a conventional queue environment due to a disability (including non-apparent disabilities). DAS will be issued at Guest Relations main entrance locations and will offer guests a return time for attractions based on the current wait time. As soon as the Guest finishes one attraction, they can receive a return time for another. This service can be used in addition to Disney’s FASTPASS Service and Disney FastPass+ service.

On the third day of our trip, we headed to Hollywood Studios and went straight to Guest Relations. I explained that ‘J’ had sensory processing disorder and found the lines to be…and then the Cast Member finished my sentence with: overwhelming? She took us over to the side and set us up with a DAS from her handheld device. We were told that we would need to go to a specific attraction to get a return time and that the pass would be good for the entire trip. We wouldn’t need to go to guest relations each day to have it set up again.

This pass was a game changer! I could see a weight lifted off of ‘J’ as we went to different rides. He was calmer, less stressed and more excited. Isn’t that how it should be at Disney?

I’m so thankful to Disney for accommodating all of their guests and for their amazing service helping us to obtain our DAS.

If you’d like to learn more, visit the Disney Parks Blog or reach out to Disney Guest Relations!

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 3

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Taking the School Bus

Back in my day, there were walkers and bussers. Walkers were the kids who lived too close to the school and didn’t qualify for bus services. Bussers, well that one is obvious. I was a walker.

When registering ‘J’ for school, we had to sign forms for him to take the bus and were told we would receive a bus pass prior to school starting. I asked if I was able to drive him myself or if he was required to take the bus. The woman was taken aback by the question and said of course I could take him but that every child had the ability to take the bus.

I knew ‘J’ would never go for it.

We did try though. We talked to him about it and asked if he wanted to try. It was a big no. At the time, his sister was 2 and stated “I’m gonna take the bus when I go to school!”

We figured we would start the school year with me bringing him, and maybe once he saw friends taking the bus, he would want to as well. One day he finally agreed to take it home from school. This was huge!

I received a message from his teacher saying that he started to cry once he realized it was time to line up and walk out to the bus. She let me know his friends consoled him and all chanted his name. This made my heart melt. Once they got outside, the Principal and Vice Principal were also cheering him on. He went onto the bus in tears.

My biggest fear was that he’d try to run. When faced with fight or flight, he typically choose flight. We had prepped him leading up to it; we would meet him at the bus stop and he should not to get off the bus until he saw us. But we were still a bit nervous.

My husband, J’s sister and I all went to the corner to wait for him. We were talking to a neighbor when we heard honking, we look over and the bus had pulled up right in front of the house. We ran over and he walked off the bus in a pile of tears and sniffles. He did it! He rode the bus! Something he was so nervous about but he made it through.

He made it clear he never wanted to do it again.

The only other time he has taken the bus since that day was for his only field trip. They went to see a stage show of Frosty the Snowman. He sat next to his teacher and did great. I think being with his whole class, having the comfort of his teacher there and knowing I was picking him up once he returned to school helped to make that bus ride a whole lot easier.

Truth be told, having never taken a school bus myself (except for field trips), I was totally fine with the idea of picking him up and dropping him off. I just want him to always know the option is there for more independence. If he changes his mind one day and wants to ride the bus with his friends, we will support it. If not, that’s ok too.

In the final part of this series, I will discuss our experience with school closing due to Covid.

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 2

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Holiday Assemblies

I hate attention. I say this as someone who co-hosts two podcasts and does YouTube Lives. Guess you could say I’m a bit of an introvert/extrovert. When I was in school, I never liked public speaking, performing in a play, answering questions just in case I was wrong even when I knew I was right, etc. I was way too nervous. A little shy. Was there more to it than that? The early stages of my own anxiety? Probably.

I mentioned in the previous blog how much ‘J’ loved Kindergarten and that is 100% true. HOWever, once he started practicing for his Holiday Assembly, things started to shift. Especially when he went into the auditorium for rehearsals. The size of the stage, the bright lights, the echo, he was not feeling any of it. He didn’t want to sing the songs he had been singing all month long in and out of school. He didn’t want to be up on stage in front of everyone, he wanted nothing to do with it.

On the day of the performance, it was an extra hard drop off. His teacher was amazing and in the days leading up to it, she told him that he could stay with her until he was comfortable to go up on stage. Since this was December, 2019, we were able to go to the school to watch. There would also be a gingerbread house decorating activity after the performance for families.

The three of us walked into school to sign in for the show. I looked down the hall to ‘J’s” classroom, his teacher made eye contact with us and waived us down. I knew things weren’t good. We walked down to the end of the hallway to his classroom and saw him behind a desk, eating a graham cracker with puffy eyes. His friends were around him, checking in on him and telling him everything would be ok. He looked up to see us and ran right into my arms crying. All four of us went to the auditorium together and took our seats, right in front of the stage, behind his teacher.

His class walked in and took their spots on stage. We asked him if he wanted to go up with them and he said no. His teacher asked if he wanted to sit next to her and he said no. He stayed on my lap the whole time, watching his friends sing the songs he grew to love.

The thing about ‘J’ is, when he gets himself worked up to the point of not participating in something, he never feels like he’s missing out. He feels relieved, happy and content. He was happy to be watching his friends and cheered them on. Afterwards, we were all at one long table, building gingerbread houses together and all his anxiety was lifted. He returned to the happy boy he is, laughing with his friends.

Our heart breaks watching him struggle with new situations. His anxiety spikes, he wants to run away, he cries. As parents, we want the best for him and for him to be able to branch out and try new things. At the same time, he knows what he likes and what makes him comfortable. Sometimes he does need that nudge, like going into school. But other times, if something is overwhelming him to the point of tears, is it worth the push? We’ve seen the outcome of that and it’s typically not good.

Seeing your child on stage for the first time may be something you’ve thought about with excitement. And it may turn out exactly how you imagined. But there is that chance that it just may not go according to plan.

In Part 3, I’ll chat about taking the Bus.