Tag: SAHM

Walking, Listening and Breathing

On By justmymomsenseIn Parent Life, writing challenge7 Comments

Two springs ago, my husband and I started going on walks while the kids were at school. We did it just as a way to get out, enjoy the nice weather and didn’t have a goal in mind.

Once the summer and fall came, I missed walking. What I hadn’t realized is that walking had made me feel better, even though I wasn’t feeling bad. So we got back into walking, sporadically, on nicer days.

Last year my 9 year old switched to a school that is in walking distance from our house. We walked him to school everyday and most days took the long way back home. Once this past summer hit, I made it a point to make sure I continued to walk. This time I did it solo.

Once my husband was done working, we would divide and conquer. I would go out, put my earbuds in and just walk. He started doing the same in the mornings before work.

We are still parents, so life can get in the way and these walks can’t happen everyday. However, we have made it a point to set aside this outside walking time for ourselves as often as possible.

Personally, I am walking for mental health and to move my body. I have Hashimotos and exercising is important, with gentle exercise being the preferred method. While walking, I like listening to audiobooks, podcasts and sometimes just music. We had ordered iLuv myBuds Wireless EarBuds awhile back, due to the cost and not knowing how often we would be using them. Now that we’re using them more, they’ve been great and I have no plans on switching any time soon. Just remember to keep the volume at a place where you can still hear your surroundings. If I can walk at the end of the day, I find it better because I don’t have my daily to-do list running through my head like it is in the morning. But I take what I can get!

Finding solo time as a parent is tough and everyone’s situation is different. Whether it’s a few minutes or a few hours, once a week or everyday, I would highly recommend it. Take time to watch a favorite show, favorite movie, go out for a walk, stay in and do a home workout, read a favorite book, journal, meditate or find something else that allows you time to breathe and center yourself.

If you would have told me two years ago that I would be walking on my own a few times a week, I would have said “I don’t have time for that.” Mental health is just as important as overall health and whatever you can do to help yourself be the best version of you, to feel good and get through the day, please do!

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Suffolk County Public Libraries Summer Tour

On By justmymomsenseIn new york, writing challengeLeave a comment

If you follow me on Instagram, you have seen some of our library hauls through the years. We love our library and are there at least once a week, usually more. When Suffolk County announced plans for a library summer tour, we knew we had to check it out!

One library in particular was definitely a sensory friendly favorite!

Suffolk County is one of two counties in Long Island, NY. Long Island consists of two counties, Nassau and Suffolk. In total, there are 62 counties in all of NY state.

For this summer tour, each of my kids got their own passport book that they could personalize with their name and home library. From July 1 – August 31, every time we visited a library, they would receive a stamp in their passport. There were also three different milestones in order be entered into raffles:

5 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card

15 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a $1000 Barnes & Noble gift card

25 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a Nook & $25 Barnes & Noble gift card

Up until this tour, we had only frequented two libraries prior, so most of these were new for us. In total we visited 16, receiving 15 stamps (we saw two libraries from the same branch) and visited our home library numerous times throughout the summer.

Let’s start with our favorite sensory friendly library:

Sachem

The thing that stood out to us most at Sachem was definitely Discovery Grove.

Discovery Grove is an outdoor classroom for children birth through 5th grade and their caregiver. Each area provides children with many learning opportunities in math, science, music, and art while promoting imaginative play, problem-solving skills, and socialization. These experiences provide occasions to hone their fine and gross motor skills, expand language and communication skills, and gain confidence to engage in new experiences and environments. – Sachem Library Website

There were areas for digging, building, climbing and more. All the senses can be activated through water play, instruments, heavy work and creativity. We spent so much time out in Discovery Grove and my kids started working together to build a house. This is definitely a spot we will be visiting again!

Here is a list (in no particular order) of the other libraries we visited and what stood out to us about each location:

  • Northport and East Northport
    • These two buildings are a part of the same branch and located a few minutes from each other. They had great kid areas, a fun scavenger hunt to locate literary characters throughout the children’s section and East Northport has a great playground right outside.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: At Northport, we have a commemorative statue of The Little Prince and at East-Northport, the whimsical Library Bear!
  • Cold Spring Harbor
    • This is probably the prettiest library we visited. Located on a hill with water views, this library was quiet, quaint and had live streams from other countries scrolling on a monitor in the children’s section.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: The library is located directly on the Cold Spring Harbor State Park & Green Belt Trail.
  • Huntington
    • This library is in a great location in the heart of Huntington. After your visit, you can easily walk to local restaurants and shops.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: The main building used to be the NY Telephone Building.
  • South Huntington
    • The children’s section was big, bright and had a big offering of books and movies. There’s also a great play area!
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: We have a large terra cotta fish tank!
  • Elwood
    • This library is small, cute, friendly and the highlight for us was the chess board! My son played chess for the first time and won!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: Our building was a former Blockbuster Video.
  • Harborfields
    • Large children’s area, including a quiet cubby for movie watching. Right next door, you’ll also find a great playground!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We opened to the public in a 10-by-50-foot trailer parked on a grass strip on January 10, 1971.
  • Commack
    • This library had a super modern feel. The children’s area was big, bright and had an awesome interactive gaming table.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: The Children’s Room has LED lighting in the ceiling which can change colors throughout the day by patron request!
  • Half Hollow Hills
    • Walking up to and into this library immediately gave us the feeling that we were in a new school! Next to the book section was a big playroom for smaller children!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: The Melville Branch was originally the Old Melville Schoolhouse.
  • Deer Park
    • Some libraries had more of an offering of specific books my kids were looking for than others. At Deer Park, there was a large selection of Easy Readers which was exciting for my 6 year old!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We aren’t the only Deer Park Public LIbrary. There are three others in Texas, Cincinnati, and Toronto.
  • Sayville
    • Driving up to it my kids said “is this a hotel?!” This library is super convenient to the LIRR and has a big children’s section. If you’re driving, be aware that parking is located in the back.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have a little free pet pantry!
  • Central Islip
    • The children’s section was decked out in a space theme, complete with inflatable aliens.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have an art gallery!
  • Hauppauge
    • This library was all in on Barbie! There were Barbie and Ken photo frames set up and a Barbie themed door hanger craft.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have a summer outdoor event series called Fridays Out Front.
  • The Smithtown Library Nesconset Building
    • Crafts inside in the Children’s area and plenty to do outside with a playground, tennis courts and more!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: Between 1909 & 1912 the library’s collection was housed in a small building that still stands today on the Smithtown Historical Society’s property.

We are thankful for this summer tour because it got us to visit libraries we may never have otherwise. The libraries all had friendly staffs, great collections of books (and yes we got at least one book from each) and so much to offer their communities.

Day 1 | 30 Day Writing Challenge

On By justmymomsenseIn writing challengeLeave a comment

Today is August 31, 2023 and I am about to start a 30 Day Writing Challenge.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to start on September 1?

Yes! BUT I am giving myself the advice that I would give someone else: Just Start!

Time has flown by in the last 9 years of being a mom and in writing this blog. When I look back on posts, some that I think were written recently were actually written 4+ years ago. I like writing, I like sharing things that have worked for our family with others and I want to be doing more with this blog. Step 1, get to writing MORE!

For day 1, I want to do a re-introduction! My name is Jen and I’m a stay at home mom of a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. I’ve been married for over 11 years and we also have 11 year old pup! I co-host a weekly podcast with my brother <shameless plug> which you can find on your favorite podcasting platforms: Dillo’s Diz Podcast. For a year and a half, I also co-hosted The Magical Mommy Monday Podcast with my friend Angela.

I started this blog to document my family’s journey navigating my son’s speech delay, sensory processing difficulties and the day to day of family life. I always find it helpful when I’m able to get another parent’s perspective on different topics and wanted to be a resource for others going through a similar journey.

I’m mostly in the land of social media under @jenillo but you can also find me on Instagram @justmymomsense.

Should I start a TikTok for this blog too? Hmmm, stay tuned for the rest of this challenge to see if it happens!

Day 1 is now in the books! See you tomorrow!

Back To School Blogs From The Archives

On By justmymomsenseIn school1 Comment

Back to school time is upon us and I wanted to share some school related blogs I’ve written along the way:

The After School Eruption

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 1

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 2

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 3

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 4

Be sure to check out A Few Of My Favorite Things for books, favorite authors, toys and more that can help with the transition back to school and all year round!

Let me know how you’re feeling about this time of year by leaving a comment or connecting on Instagram: @justmymomsense!

I Love The Love For Reading

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If you follow my @justmymomsense Instagram, then you have definitely seen some our library hauls.

Each of my kids got their first library card at around 6 months old. Our library is so awesome. They offer classes from the baby stage all the way up to classes for adults. Their children’s book section is extensive and it also fills the void that Blockbuster left by giving us the ability to take out DVDs and video games.

I love the love for reading that my kids have. They’re excited to pick out books and look forward to having new ones in the mix.

We’ve spent time making reading forts.

We’ve taken things outdoors in order to read on the trampoline.

Reading before bed is always fun since my husband is good at providing some of the character voices.

Along with gym, music and art, my kids also go to their school libraries once a week. They learn about new authors and are able to bring a book home from that library as well.

I am grateful for the library and schools we have. I know what a privilege it is for my children to be able to have access to so many wonderful authors, stories and opportunities.

If have a library card, you may be able to access apps in order to take out books virtually and have them sent to your Kindle or iPad. Apps like Libby are also available to read books on different devices. (This isn’t an ad, just something we’ve used)

Growing up I liked book stores and I remember having favorite authors, but I wasn’t always able to get lost in stories. I remember setting up a reading nook in my room to help give me that nudge I was needing, which probably only worked for a short amount of time. I think it’s awesome that my 8 year old loves reading new books, writing fan fiction and draws his own illustrations. My 6 year old is in Kindergarten and has come so far with reading in the last few months, it’s been amazing to watch her growth.

And now for my unsolicited advice: if you have access to a library, please get yourself and your child a library card and read with them. One of the coolest things you’ll experience is sharing a story together. That may look like you reading to them, them reading to you or just looking through pictures. However it’s done, enjoy those moments!

I’ve included some of our favorite children’s book authors over on my “These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things” page which you can check out by clicking here.

Jump Around!

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What is the Vestibular Sense?

The vestibular system contributes to balance and orientation in space. It is the leading system informing us about movement and position of head relative to gravity. – SensoryHealth.org

There are times ‘J’ will jump on his bed at the end of the day. My immediate go-to is to stop him and explain how it’s time to get ready to sleep, not to play. But what he’s doing is bigger than playing. He’s giving his body what he needs in order to get to a more restful state. Yes, I know this seems like a contradiction, but trust me, it’s true.

I’ve been lucky enough to chat with Becky Lyddon from Sensory Spectacle on a few occasions and she is so awesome at explaining sensory life. I have mentioned her in previous blogs and I’ll be sure to link those below. For now, let’s listen to Becky explain the benefits of bouncing on a bed.

We have a trampoline in our backyard and ‘J’ could jump on it for hours. Over the years we have offered time on the trampoline when we can tell that it may be helpful in certain moments. Of course this is aside from just random playtimes when he’s bouncing as well.

I often have to remind myself that jumping on the bed is often exactly what ‘J’ needs and not something he’s doing strictly for the fun of it.

To learn more about the Vestibular Sense and your other 7 senses (yes there are 8), click here.

Previous Blogs Featuring Becky Lyddon:

A Hairy Situation

It’s Too Loud

Sensory Spectacle Resources

Magical Mommy Monday Episode

Amazon Prime Early Access for Sensory Items

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There are so many benefits to sensory items! They can help calm a child, regulate emotions, focus, enhance fine motor skills, improve language skills and so much more.

Amazon is currently running a Prime Early Access promotion today, October 11th and tomorrow, October 12th. Although the links below are affiliate links, they are products (or similar ones) we have in our home.

Click here to check out some of our favorite things!

The Way I Parent

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Fun fact: I didn’t have imaginary friends when I was little, but I did have imaginary children. I have wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Did I have them at the exact age I thought I would? Nope. Did I have as many as I sometimes thought I might? Nope. Life takes twists and turns and leads you to where you’re supposed to be. I’m lucky enough to have hit the jackpot with two awesome kids.

I don’t know that I ever envisioned too much about parenthood outside of – yup, definitely want that! I didn’t really know what kind of parent I wanted to be, couldn’t picture being the parent of school age kids and now that I am, I have a hard time imagining who I’ll be as the parent of high schoolers <cue anxiety>.

I used to love knowing what was going to happen and liked having a plan. I’m not sure when that lessened, but it definitely did over time. And I’m glad it did. For me, it was a more stressful way of living. I think the fact that I was able to let go of some of that, helped open me up to letting my kids show me the way when it comes to parenting.

That sounds weird, even as I type it, since I’m basically just thinking out loud in this blog and wasn’t sure how to phrase that. And don’t mistake what I’m saying, my kids do not run the show. But I do think that growing up in the 80s and 90s, our parents as a society were much different than (most) parents today. We didn’t have much of a choice in…anything, our parents definitely didn’t do as many activities with us, etc.

Please note: I have great parents and had a great childhood. But was it perfect? Of course not. Each generation just tries to move the needle and improve the one before.

Having a child that didn’t talk for two and a half years, with sensory processing difficulties helps tune you in to what they’re needing on a bigger level. I’ve realized how many people expect so much from kids in general. They should behave perfectly in every situation. They should be up to date on social cues, say things even if they don’t mean it, the list goes on and on. Kids are people, just smaller ones. They have thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, they have big feelings and should feel seen and heard. There are so many things that kids still have to do that they won’t like. For example, they’re not going to be excited about going to the doctor, the dentist, some days they may not be into school (hopefully they don’t hate it), homework, etc. But those things have to be done. If there is something either of my kids don’t have to do, don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable about, I’m not going to make them. I choose my battles and hear them out. Are there times they come from a place of no when I know they’d love to do a certain activity or go some place but they just may be fearing the unknown? Of course, and that’s where the balance to everything I’m saying comes in.

We all know our children best. We should always make sure they feel safe, feel seen, feel heard, feel respected and can express any opinion or emotion to us without fear of repercussion. They are still figuring out the world and hopefully will always be on that journey. We should be there to help guide them. I don’t know about you, but I’m still definitely on it. I’m not a perfect parent and never will be. I do try my best and some days are better than others. On the days I felt like I could’ve done better, I make sure to check in with myself, try not to spiral so that I can get up the next morning and try again.

Again, I’m not sure if I ever envisioned the type of parent I would be, but I think having a sensory kid definitely made me more aware of both of my kids as humans and working to keep their emotions, my emotions, our surroundings all in balance. If we’re not regulated, they’re not regulated.

I’ve learned more about myself in these last 8 years of parenting than any other time in my life. I look forward to learning more.

Anticipation

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When I started this blog, I came up with the title “Just My MomSense” because I’m a big believer in trusting your gut.

No one knows your child better than you. This kicks in as soon as they enter the world. You start learning which cries mean hungry or indicate they’re in pain. You start to know by the looks on their face if they’re sick and as they get bigger, you can tell by a look on their face if something bigger is going on.

As a third grader, we have to trust our gut in new ways with ‘J.’ He’s always been big on keeping things bottled up but those feelings end up coming out in different ways. We don’t want this to be a norm for him and try our best to give him the tools he needs to express how he’s feeling. For example, we know there have been times things happen at school but he didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure who to tell or when or didn’t want to interrupt the schedule of the day. We continue to let him know how important it is to speak up and to let someone know how he’s feeling because no one can help him if they don’t know what’s going on.

We’re all about the tools in this house and always have been. For us, therapies have been helpful because they give him more tools for his toolbox to get through his day. I’ve talked before about how things that so many people take for granted throughout their day are tougher for him, so the more tools to help, the better.

One of our tools, as parents, is anticipation. Maybe that isn’t the best word, maybe preparation is better…probably both. We do are best to anticipate and prep him and his sister for upcoming activities. We show pictures, videos when possible, or just explain an itinerary in detail. This helps to avoid fear of the unknown and soften any anxiety that could arise. We also try our best to anticipate how they’re doing in any situation. We can see a look on their face and know they’re uncomfortable or tired or starting to get anxious. When that happens we can pull them to the side or distract them or we can also leave the situation we’re in. It all depends.

Are we perfect at preparation and anticipation? Nope. Do we screw up sometimes and then have to think about why they’re acting a certain way? Yup, plenty. But we try our best and as parents, that’s all we can do.

Having a child with a speech delay and sensory processing difficulties has changed the way we parent both of our kids, more on that in the next blog!

Being Nostalgic About Your Kids Being Young

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While They’re Still Young

When my kids were babies, I hated switching out their clothes every few months. It made me so sad to think about how quickly the time was going and how fast they were growing. While also knowing it was awesome that they were thriving.

“The days are long but the years are short.”

“Time flies.”

“Enjoy it now because it goes by quick.”

“They grow up so fast.”

“Don’t blink or you may miss it.”

It’s true. All of it!

Nothing has flown by faster than these last seven and a half years I’ve spent as a mom. I have found myself becoming more and more nostalgic…and anxiety ridden….for the days when they were babies.

The toddler clothes section of Target? Yup, I’ve gotten choked up there. My daughter is in 5T clothes, soon she’ll join her brother on the other side of the aisle.

Seeing people on walks with their babies in strollers? How did that go by so quick? No one talks about how quick kids grow out of strollers, especially for leisurely walking.

The TimeHop app on my phone constantly reminding me of adorable moments on a random Tuesday? I love it and hate it all at the same time.

I’m a nostalgic person to my core. I’m all about throwback photos, remembering things from my childhood, missing certain things about Disney in the 90’s, music and more. But I wasn’t expecting to feel so nostalgic only 7 years into motherhood. I find it hitting me more and more randomly as the days go on.

All I want is for my babies to continue to grow and thrive. I want to them to be independent and enjoy life to the absolute fullest. I know this is a trade off because it also means them pulling away from me more as the years go on. And as hard as it’ll be, it’s ok. It’s what’s meant to happen. I want them to find their happy places, surround themselves with good people and be living life on their terms. I hope they create their own dreams and see them all come true.

But what I wouldn’t give for buying some baby clothes from that side of the aisle at Target for one more day.