Tag: momlife

Suffolk County Public Libraries Summer Tour

On By justmymomsenseIn new york, writing challengeLeave a comment

If you follow me on Instagram, you have seen some of our library hauls through the years. We love our library and are there at least once a week, usually more. When Suffolk County announced plans for a library summer tour, we knew we had to check it out!

One library in particular was definitely a sensory friendly favorite!

Suffolk County is one of two counties in Long Island, NY. Long Island consists of two counties, Nassau and Suffolk. In total, there are 62 counties in all of NY state.

For this summer tour, each of my kids got their own passport book that they could personalize with their name and home library. From July 1 – August 31, every time we visited a library, they would receive a stamp in their passport. There were also three different milestones in order be entered into raffles:

5 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card

15 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a $1000 Barnes & Noble gift card

25 library stamps: One entry into a raffle for a Nook & $25 Barnes & Noble gift card

Up until this tour, we had only frequented two libraries prior, so most of these were new for us. In total we visited 16, receiving 15 stamps (we saw two libraries from the same branch) and visited our home library numerous times throughout the summer.

Let’s start with our favorite sensory friendly library:

Sachem

The thing that stood out to us most at Sachem was definitely Discovery Grove.

Discovery Grove is an outdoor classroom for children birth through 5th grade and their caregiver. Each area provides children with many learning opportunities in math, science, music, and art while promoting imaginative play, problem-solving skills, and socialization. These experiences provide occasions to hone their fine and gross motor skills, expand language and communication skills, and gain confidence to engage in new experiences and environments. – Sachem Library Website

There were areas for digging, building, climbing and more. All the senses can be activated through water play, instruments, heavy work and creativity. We spent so much time out in Discovery Grove and my kids started working together to build a house. This is definitely a spot we will be visiting again!

Here is a list (in no particular order) of the other libraries we visited and what stood out to us about each location:

  • Northport and East Northport
    • These two buildings are a part of the same branch and located a few minutes from each other. They had great kid areas, a fun scavenger hunt to locate literary characters throughout the children’s section and East Northport has a great playground right outside.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: At Northport, we have a commemorative statue of The Little Prince and at East-Northport, the whimsical Library Bear!
  • Cold Spring Harbor
    • This is probably the prettiest library we visited. Located on a hill with water views, this library was quiet, quaint and had live streams from other countries scrolling on a monitor in the children’s section.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: The library is located directly on the Cold Spring Harbor State Park & Green Belt Trail.
  • Huntington
    • This library is in a great location in the heart of Huntington. After your visit, you can easily walk to local restaurants and shops.
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: The main building used to be the NY Telephone Building.
  • South Huntington
    • The children’s section was big, bright and had a big offering of books and movies. There’s also a great play area!
    • Fun Fact from the passport book: We have a large terra cotta fish tank!
  • Elwood
    • This library is small, cute, friendly and the highlight for us was the chess board! My son played chess for the first time and won!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: Our building was a former Blockbuster Video.
  • Harborfields
    • Large children’s area, including a quiet cubby for movie watching. Right next door, you’ll also find a great playground!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We opened to the public in a 10-by-50-foot trailer parked on a grass strip on January 10, 1971.
  • Commack
    • This library had a super modern feel. The children’s area was big, bright and had an awesome interactive gaming table.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: The Children’s Room has LED lighting in the ceiling which can change colors throughout the day by patron request!
  • Half Hollow Hills
    • Walking up to and into this library immediately gave us the feeling that we were in a new school! Next to the book section was a big playroom for smaller children!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: The Melville Branch was originally the Old Melville Schoolhouse.
  • Deer Park
    • Some libraries had more of an offering of specific books my kids were looking for than others. At Deer Park, there was a large selection of Easy Readers which was exciting for my 6 year old!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We aren’t the only Deer Park Public LIbrary. There are three others in Texas, Cincinnati, and Toronto.
  • Sayville
    • Driving up to it my kids said “is this a hotel?!” This library is super convenient to the LIRR and has a big children’s section. If you’re driving, be aware that parking is located in the back.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have a little free pet pantry!
  • Central Islip
    • The children’s section was decked out in a space theme, complete with inflatable aliens.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have an art gallery!
  • Hauppauge
    • This library was all in on Barbie! There were Barbie and Ken photo frames set up and a Barbie themed door hanger craft.
    • Fun fact from the passport book: We have a summer outdoor event series called Fridays Out Front.
  • The Smithtown Library Nesconset Building
    • Crafts inside in the Children’s area and plenty to do outside with a playground, tennis courts and more!
    • Fun fact from the passport book: Between 1909 & 1912 the library’s collection was housed in a small building that still stands today on the Smithtown Historical Society’s property.

We are thankful for this summer tour because it got us to visit libraries we may never have otherwise. The libraries all had friendly staffs, great collections of books (and yes we got at least one book from each) and so much to offer their communities.

Day 1 | 30 Day Writing Challenge

On By justmymomsenseIn writing challengeLeave a comment

Today is August 31, 2023 and I am about to start a 30 Day Writing Challenge.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to start on September 1?

Yes! BUT I am giving myself the advice that I would give someone else: Just Start!

Time has flown by in the last 9 years of being a mom and in writing this blog. When I look back on posts, some that I think were written recently were actually written 4+ years ago. I like writing, I like sharing things that have worked for our family with others and I want to be doing more with this blog. Step 1, get to writing MORE!

For day 1, I want to do a re-introduction! My name is Jen and I’m a stay at home mom of a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. I’ve been married for over 11 years and we also have 11 year old pup! I co-host a weekly podcast with my brother <shameless plug> which you can find on your favorite podcasting platforms: Dillo’s Diz Podcast. For a year and a half, I also co-hosted The Magical Mommy Monday Podcast with my friend Angela.

I started this blog to document my family’s journey navigating my son’s speech delay, sensory processing difficulties and the day to day of family life. I always find it helpful when I’m able to get another parent’s perspective on different topics and wanted to be a resource for others going through a similar journey.

I’m mostly in the land of social media under @jenillo but you can also find me on Instagram @justmymomsense.

Should I start a TikTok for this blog too? Hmmm, stay tuned for the rest of this challenge to see if it happens!

Day 1 is now in the books! See you tomorrow!

Back To School Blogs From The Archives

On By justmymomsenseIn school1 Comment

Back to school time is upon us and I wanted to share some school related blogs I’ve written along the way:

The After School Eruption

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 1

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 2

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 3

School May Not Look Like You Imagined Part 4

Be sure to check out A Few Of My Favorite Things for books, favorite authors, toys and more that can help with the transition back to school and all year round!

Let me know how you’re feeling about this time of year by leaving a comment or connecting on Instagram: @justmymomsense!

Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala

On By justmymomsenseIn Anxiety, Mental Health, Sensory ResourcesLeave a comment

I recently purchased Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala to have as a source of reference for my kids.

However, for today, I want to chat about reading it on your own, as a parent.

Description from the back of the book:

Many kids suffer from an overactive “Fight or Flight” response, which can affect them in all areas of their lives. Follow Poppy as she explains some of her struggles with anxiety, anger, and friendships as a kid with an overactive amygdala. This book was created to help build understanding and empathy for children with a wide range of mental health challenges. This type of behavior can be seen in many children, including but not limited to those kids with DMDD, ADHD, ODD, Anxiety, Bipolar disorder, PANS/PANDAS, RAD, Autism disorders, PTSD, IED, and Conduct disorder, among others. While many of the children struggle with comprehension of their disorder, they all have one important factor in common. They did not choose this. As adults, we have a responsibility to build understanding, encourage empathy, and continue to grow our own set of skills and knowledge in order to best serve our most vulnerable population: Children.

Both of my kids have anxiety and one has confirmed sensory processing difficulties. Here is what I already know: going through everyday activities that we all take for granted, can be really tough for someone with sensory processing difficulties and anxiety. Here is what I need to be reminded of: going through everyday activities that we all take for granted, can be really tough for someone with sensory processing difficulties and anxiety. I try my best to continue to educate myself, to listen to podcasts, read books or social media and watch videos, all in an effort to make sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to make things just a little easier. But, I am also human. I have good days and bad. I’m always juggling all the things in life. And sometimes, I start to take the day to day for granted and slip back into needing a reminder.

This book is a good reminder. A reminder of the emotional storm that can happen quickly and easily inside a child. It talks about the ups and downs, the negative thoughts they experience and what adults can do to help them through it.

If you’re like me and aren’t always perfect, I recommend you read through Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala, on your own, thinking of your child going through the things that are described. It may be just the reminder you need to get yourself back into the routine.

I have links to this book and a few others on my “A Few of My Favorite Things” page which you can access by clicking here.

Just My MomSense is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program

The After School Eruption

On By justmymomsenseIn school4 Comments

I remember reading awhile back that children often keep a cap on their emotions during a school day and by the time they get home, the cap pops off. They know they’re in a safe and caring environment. They’re in a familiar place. They can now just be themselves.

My son is now 9, my daughter is 6 and the cap comes off each day. Some days it’s for a few minutes and some days (I’m looking at you Wednesdays) it lasts until bedtime. Being at school is a lot of work. When you’re experiencing different anxieties or having trouble grounding your senses, it can be completely overwhelming.

In school, kids have to:

  • Sit in one spot for a good chunk of the day
  • Interact with different kids and adults
  • Be able to handle distractions going on around them, whether that’s another child calling out in the class or something happening outside
  • Visit the cafeteria with different smells, an increase in volume from everyone talking, different lighting, etc

The list goes on. Now let’s throw in things like a child who is starting to get sick, maybe they have something going on at home, maybe they’re in the midst of a move or maybe they’re having a hard time making friends.

Now your child walks through the door at the end of the day carrying a suitcase full of mental, emotional and social experiences. It’s no wonder it pops open!

Consider this blog another reminder that kids are just small people trying to figure out life. Not so different from adults. Being a kid is hard and giving them the tools to help process all the ups and downs will help them as they get older and all of that stuff they’re carrying grows too.

The after school eruption can be tough, remember to regulate your own emotions from your day in order to help them regulate their day.

(Sometimes easier said than done but we’re all out here trying our best)

Click here to check out some of my favorite books and products that can help with the after school eruption.

I Love The Love For Reading

On By justmymomsenseIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

If you follow my @justmymomsense Instagram, then you have definitely seen some our library hauls.

Each of my kids got their first library card at around 6 months old. Our library is so awesome. They offer classes from the baby stage all the way up to classes for adults. Their children’s book section is extensive and it also fills the void that Blockbuster left by giving us the ability to take out DVDs and video games.

I love the love for reading that my kids have. They’re excited to pick out books and look forward to having new ones in the mix.

We’ve spent time making reading forts.

We’ve taken things outdoors in order to read on the trampoline.

Reading before bed is always fun since my husband is good at providing some of the character voices.

Along with gym, music and art, my kids also go to their school libraries once a week. They learn about new authors and are able to bring a book home from that library as well.

I am grateful for the library and schools we have. I know what a privilege it is for my children to be able to have access to so many wonderful authors, stories and opportunities.

If have a library card, you may be able to access apps in order to take out books virtually and have them sent to your Kindle or iPad. Apps like Libby are also available to read books on different devices. (This isn’t an ad, just something we’ve used)

Growing up I liked book stores and I remember having favorite authors, but I wasn’t always able to get lost in stories. I remember setting up a reading nook in my room to help give me that nudge I was needing, which probably only worked for a short amount of time. I think it’s awesome that my 8 year old loves reading new books, writing fan fiction and draws his own illustrations. My 6 year old is in Kindergarten and has come so far with reading in the last few months, it’s been amazing to watch her growth.

And now for my unsolicited advice: if you have access to a library, please get yourself and your child a library card and read with them. One of the coolest things you’ll experience is sharing a story together. That may look like you reading to them, them reading to you or just looking through pictures. However it’s done, enjoy those moments!

I’ve included some of our favorite children’s book authors over on my “These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things” page which you can check out by clicking here.

Jump Around!

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What is the Vestibular Sense?

The vestibular system contributes to balance and orientation in space. It is the leading system informing us about movement and position of head relative to gravity. – SensoryHealth.org

There are times ‘J’ will jump on his bed at the end of the day. My immediate go-to is to stop him and explain how it’s time to get ready to sleep, not to play. But what he’s doing is bigger than playing. He’s giving his body what he needs in order to get to a more restful state. Yes, I know this seems like a contradiction, but trust me, it’s true.

I’ve been lucky enough to chat with Becky Lyddon from Sensory Spectacle on a few occasions and she is so awesome at explaining sensory life. I have mentioned her in previous blogs and I’ll be sure to link those below. For now, let’s listen to Becky explain the benefits of bouncing on a bed.

We have a trampoline in our backyard and ‘J’ could jump on it for hours. Over the years we have offered time on the trampoline when we can tell that it may be helpful in certain moments. Of course this is aside from just random playtimes when he’s bouncing as well.

I often have to remind myself that jumping on the bed is often exactly what ‘J’ needs and not something he’s doing strictly for the fun of it.

To learn more about the Vestibular Sense and your other 7 senses (yes there are 8), click here.

Previous Blogs Featuring Becky Lyddon:

A Hairy Situation

It’s Too Loud

Sensory Spectacle Resources

Magical Mommy Monday Episode

Amazon Prime Early Access for Sensory Items

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There are so many benefits to sensory items! They can help calm a child, regulate emotions, focus, enhance fine motor skills, improve language skills and so much more.

Amazon is currently running a Prime Early Access promotion today, October 11th and tomorrow, October 12th. Although the links below are affiliate links, they are products (or similar ones) we have in our home.

Click here to check out some of our favorite things!

The Way I Parent

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Fun fact: I didn’t have imaginary friends when I was little, but I did have imaginary children. I have wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Did I have them at the exact age I thought I would? Nope. Did I have as many as I sometimes thought I might? Nope. Life takes twists and turns and leads you to where you’re supposed to be. I’m lucky enough to have hit the jackpot with two awesome kids.

I don’t know that I ever envisioned too much about parenthood outside of – yup, definitely want that! I didn’t really know what kind of parent I wanted to be, couldn’t picture being the parent of school age kids and now that I am, I have a hard time imagining who I’ll be as the parent of high schoolers <cue anxiety>.

I used to love knowing what was going to happen and liked having a plan. I’m not sure when that lessened, but it definitely did over time. And I’m glad it did. For me, it was a more stressful way of living. I think the fact that I was able to let go of some of that, helped open me up to letting my kids show me the way when it comes to parenting.

That sounds weird, even as I type it, since I’m basically just thinking out loud in this blog and wasn’t sure how to phrase that. And don’t mistake what I’m saying, my kids do not run the show. But I do think that growing up in the 80s and 90s, our parents as a society were much different than (most) parents today. We didn’t have much of a choice in…anything, our parents definitely didn’t do as many activities with us, etc.

Please note: I have great parents and had a great childhood. But was it perfect? Of course not. Each generation just tries to move the needle and improve the one before.

Having a child that didn’t talk for two and a half years, with sensory processing difficulties helps tune you in to what they’re needing on a bigger level. I’ve realized how many people expect so much from kids in general. They should behave perfectly in every situation. They should be up to date on social cues, say things even if they don’t mean it, the list goes on and on. Kids are people, just smaller ones. They have thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, they have big feelings and should feel seen and heard. There are so many things that kids still have to do that they won’t like. For example, they’re not going to be excited about going to the doctor, the dentist, some days they may not be into school (hopefully they don’t hate it), homework, etc. But those things have to be done. If there is something either of my kids don’t have to do, don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable about, I’m not going to make them. I choose my battles and hear them out. Are there times they come from a place of no when I know they’d love to do a certain activity or go some place but they just may be fearing the unknown? Of course, and that’s where the balance to everything I’m saying comes in.

We all know our children best. We should always make sure they feel safe, feel seen, feel heard, feel respected and can express any opinion or emotion to us without fear of repercussion. They are still figuring out the world and hopefully will always be on that journey. We should be there to help guide them. I don’t know about you, but I’m still definitely on it. I’m not a perfect parent and never will be. I do try my best and some days are better than others. On the days I felt like I could’ve done better, I make sure to check in with myself, try not to spiral so that I can get up the next morning and try again.

Again, I’m not sure if I ever envisioned the type of parent I would be, but I think having a sensory kid definitely made me more aware of both of my kids as humans and working to keep their emotions, my emotions, our surroundings all in balance. If we’re not regulated, they’re not regulated.

I’ve learned more about myself in these last 8 years of parenting than any other time in my life. I look forward to learning more.

Anticipation

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When I started this blog, I came up with the title “Just My MomSense” because I’m a big believer in trusting your gut.

No one knows your child better than you. This kicks in as soon as they enter the world. You start learning which cries mean hungry or indicate they’re in pain. You start to know by the looks on their face if they’re sick and as they get bigger, you can tell by a look on their face if something bigger is going on.

As a third grader, we have to trust our gut in new ways with ‘J.’ He’s always been big on keeping things bottled up but those feelings end up coming out in different ways. We don’t want this to be a norm for him and try our best to give him the tools he needs to express how he’s feeling. For example, we know there have been times things happen at school but he didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure who to tell or when or didn’t want to interrupt the schedule of the day. We continue to let him know how important it is to speak up and to let someone know how he’s feeling because no one can help him if they don’t know what’s going on.

We’re all about the tools in this house and always have been. For us, therapies have been helpful because they give him more tools for his toolbox to get through his day. I’ve talked before about how things that so many people take for granted throughout their day are tougher for him, so the more tools to help, the better.

One of our tools, as parents, is anticipation. Maybe that isn’t the best word, maybe preparation is better…probably both. We do are best to anticipate and prep him and his sister for upcoming activities. We show pictures, videos when possible, or just explain an itinerary in detail. This helps to avoid fear of the unknown and soften any anxiety that could arise. We also try our best to anticipate how they’re doing in any situation. We can see a look on their face and know they’re uncomfortable or tired or starting to get anxious. When that happens we can pull them to the side or distract them or we can also leave the situation we’re in. It all depends.

Are we perfect at preparation and anticipation? Nope. Do we screw up sometimes and then have to think about why they’re acting a certain way? Yup, plenty. But we try our best and as parents, that’s all we can do.

Having a child with a speech delay and sensory processing difficulties has changed the way we parent both of our kids, more on that in the next blog!