Tag: Parenting

The Importance of Play

On By justmymomsenseIn Parent Life, school2 Comments

If you’re a parent than you know that playing is one of the most important things children can do. There are so many benefits and it’s so beneficial to your child’s developement.

Once the school year begins and extracurricular activities ramp up, sometimes it’s hard to make time to just play. It’s easy to get caught up in the routine, the chores, going from one activity to the next, working and everything else parents have going on throughout their day.

It’s important to stop and play. Maybe not everyday, but as often as possible. We’re still at an age range where we can do playdates. We have friends we’ve made over the past couple of years that we can call to meet up with at a park, playground, library, bowling, or just hang at one of our houses. The kids are able to be in a comfortable place with some freedom and the ability to interact with each other. They’re able to learn from each other and work on communicating more effectively. The most important thing they’re able to do is have fun in a non-structured environment.

As parents, my husband and I also work to make sure we’re playing as a family. Sometimes we walk up to a nearby school and play Basketball, Box Ball, Wiffle Ball, help them across monkey bars, or just race each other across the field. I won’t tell you who normally wins those races…

Again, I know how much the daily grind can suck you in and you start to rely a little more on school for playing and socialization. However, doing those things outside of school is just as important. I try to be aware of it so that when I feel like it’s been a long week or a busy weekend where we were gogogo, I try to make sure we have that time to stop and play.

Added bonus: it’s just as beneficial to parents!

Want to learn more about the benefits of play? Check out some of these articles:

Why Playing Is So Effecting In Your Kids’ Developement

10 Things Every Parent Should Know About Play

Want Resilient and Well-Adjusted Kids? Let Them Play

How Does Sensory Processing Affect Sleep?

On By justmymomsenseIn Sensory ResourcesLeave a comment

Taken from The Out-Of-Sync Child:

Falling asleep, staying asleep and waking up may be problematic The child with SPD may need an unusually long afternoon nap, or she may never nap even if exhausted. Because a sleep disorder is often caused be a separation problem, she may want to sleep with her parents She may have trouble comforting herself to sleep, or may constantly awaken during the night.

Sleep problems may be associated with high need for movement. If the child has not had her quota of movement during the day, her arousal levels may fluctuate erratically, and she may become overaroused at night. Over- or underresponsitivity also may cause the child to feel uncomfortable in bed. The pajamas or sheets may feel scratchy. The pillowcase may not smell right, especially after its familiar, ripe scent has been washed out. The blankets may be too heavy or not heavy enough.

My son is 9 and we still struggle with locking in a good bedtime routine. We have a routine, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Both of my kids used to go to sleep at 5:00….yup 5! And some nights, I’ll still do that. When I put them to bed at 5, they fall right to sleep and will wake up at 6AM or after. Of course as they’ve gotten older, incorporating school and after school activities, 5:00 it a lot tougher. More often their bedtime is closer to 7. However, at this time, my 6 year old is typically overtired and my 9 year old will come out of the room a dozen times before settling. They’ll still wake up at 6AM or after.

They both wake up during the night, but my 9 year old tends to do it more. We try our best to make sure he’s had enough movement during the day and enough stimulation, without getting overstimulated. It’s an ongoing balancing act.

There are plenty of things you can try if you’re in a similar boat as us.

  • Warm baths
  • Plenty of Movement during the day
  • Limiting screen time closer to bedtime
  • Making sure they’re full from all their meals

However, as much as you try, you may also just be in it right along with us. If you are, know that you’re not alone!

I recommend reading The Out-Of-Sync Child as a resource for all things sensory processing. The book has been updated since I originally purchased it and I am linking the most recent version.

Click here to check out The Out-Of-Sync Child.

Just My MomSense is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program

30 Day Writing Challenge | Day 13 Update

On By justmymomsenseIn Travel, writing challenge4 Comments

I have a confession to make.

I have missed one day of my writing challenge. That day, was yesterday.

On Thursday, I went away for a few days and made sure to schedule blogs so I didn’t miss anything. Only to come home Sunday and then needing Monday to recover.

I have decided that I will do 2 blogs today to make up for yesterday! Do I have a plan for what I’ll be writing in this one or the next? Nope! So we’ll just roll with whatever comes to mind.

Going away solo as a parent is a weird thing. I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that I co-host the Dillo’s Diz Podcast with my brother. It covers our love for Disney, random tangents and some pop culture thrown in along the way. This trip was our first every meetup and it meant so much to us. I’m still processing trying to find the words to explain how much it meant, but I’m not sure I ever will.

We’ve taken a few Dillos trips and they’re always a bit tough for me. My mom guilt kicks in, missing them is a constant and I never want to be away from them for too long. On the flip side, it was great spending time with the friends we’ve made along the way thanks to the podcast and I am so happy we did it.

If you’re a parent and can relate to feeling all the things all at once, comment below and let me know!

<Shameless plug time> If you like Disney, pop culture and hearing siblings tangent, then be sure to check out the Dillo’s Diz Podcast, available on your favorite podcasting platform or by clicking here!

Walking, Listening and Breathing

On By justmymomsenseIn Parent Life, writing challenge7 Comments

Two springs ago, my husband and I started going on walks while the kids were at school. We did it just as a way to get out, enjoy the nice weather and didn’t have a goal in mind.

Once the summer and fall came, I missed walking. What I hadn’t realized is that walking had made me feel better, even though I wasn’t feeling bad. So we got back into walking, sporadically, on nicer days.

Last year my 9 year old switched to a school that is in walking distance from our house. We walked him to school everyday and most days took the long way back home. Once this past summer hit, I made it a point to make sure I continued to walk. This time I did it solo.

Once my husband was done working, we would divide and conquer. I would go out, put my earbuds in and just walk. He started doing the same in the mornings before work.

We are still parents, so life can get in the way and these walks can’t happen everyday. However, we have made it a point to set aside this outside walking time for ourselves as often as possible.

Personally, I am walking for mental health and to move my body. I have Hashimotos and exercising is important, with gentle exercise being the preferred method. While walking, I like listening to audiobooks, podcasts and sometimes just music. We had ordered iLuv myBuds Wireless EarBuds awhile back, due to the cost and not knowing how often we would be using them. Now that we’re using them more, they’ve been great and I have no plans on switching any time soon. Just remember to keep the volume at a place where you can still hear your surroundings. If I can walk at the end of the day, I find it better because I don’t have my daily to-do list running through my head like it is in the morning. But I take what I can get!

Finding solo time as a parent is tough and everyone’s situation is different. Whether it’s a few minutes or a few hours, once a week or everyday, I would highly recommend it. Take time to watch a favorite show, favorite movie, go out for a walk, stay in and do a home workout, read a favorite book, journal, meditate or find something else that allows you time to breathe and center yourself.

If you would have told me two years ago that I would be walking on my own a few times a week, I would have said “I don’t have time for that.” Mental health is just as important as overall health and whatever you can do to help yourself be the best version of you, to feel good and get through the day, please do!

Just My MomSense is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program

Back to School Haircuts

On By justmymomsenseIn schoolLeave a comment

The other day I took both of my kids to get haircuts. Who doesn’t need a fresh new cut for school, right?!

My 9 year old has never been thrilled with haircuts but he is able to sit through them now. He did seem to get himself stuck in a cycle of hair falling on his face > wiping his face with the cape > the cape was covered in hair > more hair would end up on his face and the cycle would continue. But, he made it through!

As we were leaving, a little boy was coming in looking terrified and crying. He didn’t want to sit in the chair and was holding onto his mom as tight as he could. In that moment, I looked at his mom and I saw myself.

When we got in the car, my son and daughter asked why he was so sad. I went over some possible reasons and asked my son if he could relate. He could. We talked about how he used to cry, scream and stiffen his body anytime we brought him in for a haircut.

My daughter didn’t seem to understand and we talked about how getting a haircut affected my son. I asked how loud the scissors were while getting her hair cut. She said a 0. I asked my son how loud the buzzer and scissors were and he said a 25. I’m not sure what their scales were, but clearly one was a lot different. He talked about how it feels like sharp tools on his head, it’s loud and it’s itchy.

This took us on a path of talking through different senses, how the brain processes things differently and how each of them react to different foods, textures, sights and sounds. This was a conversation I’ve had with my son before, but not as much with my daughter.

I’m proud of my son for being able to get through things that once were so difficult for him, even though they’re still not easy and for being able to recognize them better now than he ever has before.

As far as we’ve come, his very first haircut still seems like yesterday.

Day 1 | 30 Day Writing Challenge

On By justmymomsenseIn writing challengeLeave a comment

Today is August 31, 2023 and I am about to start a 30 Day Writing Challenge.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to start on September 1?

Yes! BUT I am giving myself the advice that I would give someone else: Just Start!

Time has flown by in the last 9 years of being a mom and in writing this blog. When I look back on posts, some that I think were written recently were actually written 4+ years ago. I like writing, I like sharing things that have worked for our family with others and I want to be doing more with this blog. Step 1, get to writing MORE!

For day 1, I want to do a re-introduction! My name is Jen and I’m a stay at home mom of a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. I’ve been married for over 11 years and we also have 11 year old pup! I co-host a weekly podcast with my brother <shameless plug> which you can find on your favorite podcasting platforms: Dillo’s Diz Podcast. For a year and a half, I also co-hosted The Magical Mommy Monday Podcast with my friend Angela.

I started this blog to document my family’s journey navigating my son’s speech delay, sensory processing difficulties and the day to day of family life. I always find it helpful when I’m able to get another parent’s perspective on different topics and wanted to be a resource for others going through a similar journey.

I’m mostly in the land of social media under @jenillo but you can also find me on Instagram @justmymomsense.

Should I start a TikTok for this blog too? Hmmm, stay tuned for the rest of this challenge to see if it happens!

Day 1 is now in the books! See you tomorrow!

The After School Eruption

On By justmymomsenseIn school4 Comments

I remember reading awhile back that children often keep a cap on their emotions during a school day and by the time they get home, the cap pops off. They know they’re in a safe and caring environment. They’re in a familiar place. They can now just be themselves.

My son is now 9, my daughter is 6 and the cap comes off each day. Some days it’s for a few minutes and some days (I’m looking at you Wednesdays) it lasts until bedtime. Being at school is a lot of work. When you’re experiencing different anxieties or having trouble grounding your senses, it can be completely overwhelming.

In school, kids have to:

  • Sit in one spot for a good chunk of the day
  • Interact with different kids and adults
  • Be able to handle distractions going on around them, whether that’s another child calling out in the class or something happening outside
  • Visit the cafeteria with different smells, an increase in volume from everyone talking, different lighting, etc

The list goes on. Now let’s throw in things like a child who is starting to get sick, maybe they have something going on at home, maybe they’re in the midst of a move or maybe they’re having a hard time making friends.

Now your child walks through the door at the end of the day carrying a suitcase full of mental, emotional and social experiences. It’s no wonder it pops open!

Consider this blog another reminder that kids are just small people trying to figure out life. Not so different from adults. Being a kid is hard and giving them the tools to help process all the ups and downs will help them as they get older and all of that stuff they’re carrying grows too.

The after school eruption can be tough, remember to regulate your own emotions from your day in order to help them regulate their day.

(Sometimes easier said than done but we’re all out here trying our best)

Click here to check out some of my favorite books and products that can help with the after school eruption.

The Way I Parent

On By justmymomsenseIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Fun fact: I didn’t have imaginary friends when I was little, but I did have imaginary children. I have wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Did I have them at the exact age I thought I would? Nope. Did I have as many as I sometimes thought I might? Nope. Life takes twists and turns and leads you to where you’re supposed to be. I’m lucky enough to have hit the jackpot with two awesome kids.

I don’t know that I ever envisioned too much about parenthood outside of – yup, definitely want that! I didn’t really know what kind of parent I wanted to be, couldn’t picture being the parent of school age kids and now that I am, I have a hard time imagining who I’ll be as the parent of high schoolers <cue anxiety>.

I used to love knowing what was going to happen and liked having a plan. I’m not sure when that lessened, but it definitely did over time. And I’m glad it did. For me, it was a more stressful way of living. I think the fact that I was able to let go of some of that, helped open me up to letting my kids show me the way when it comes to parenting.

That sounds weird, even as I type it, since I’m basically just thinking out loud in this blog and wasn’t sure how to phrase that. And don’t mistake what I’m saying, my kids do not run the show. But I do think that growing up in the 80s and 90s, our parents as a society were much different than (most) parents today. We didn’t have much of a choice in…anything, our parents definitely didn’t do as many activities with us, etc.

Please note: I have great parents and had a great childhood. But was it perfect? Of course not. Each generation just tries to move the needle and improve the one before.

Having a child that didn’t talk for two and a half years, with sensory processing difficulties helps tune you in to what they’re needing on a bigger level. I’ve realized how many people expect so much from kids in general. They should behave perfectly in every situation. They should be up to date on social cues, say things even if they don’t mean it, the list goes on and on. Kids are people, just smaller ones. They have thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, they have big feelings and should feel seen and heard. There are so many things that kids still have to do that they won’t like. For example, they’re not going to be excited about going to the doctor, the dentist, some days they may not be into school (hopefully they don’t hate it), homework, etc. But those things have to be done. If there is something either of my kids don’t have to do, don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable about, I’m not going to make them. I choose my battles and hear them out. Are there times they come from a place of no when I know they’d love to do a certain activity or go some place but they just may be fearing the unknown? Of course, and that’s where the balance to everything I’m saying comes in.

We all know our children best. We should always make sure they feel safe, feel seen, feel heard, feel respected and can express any opinion or emotion to us without fear of repercussion. They are still figuring out the world and hopefully will always be on that journey. We should be there to help guide them. I don’t know about you, but I’m still definitely on it. I’m not a perfect parent and never will be. I do try my best and some days are better than others. On the days I felt like I could’ve done better, I make sure to check in with myself, try not to spiral so that I can get up the next morning and try again.

Again, I’m not sure if I ever envisioned the type of parent I would be, but I think having a sensory kid definitely made me more aware of both of my kids as humans and working to keep their emotions, my emotions, our surroundings all in balance. If we’re not regulated, they’re not regulated.

I’ve learned more about myself in these last 8 years of parenting than any other time in my life. I look forward to learning more.

Anticipation

On By justmymomsenseIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

When I started this blog, I came up with the title “Just My MomSense” because I’m a big believer in trusting your gut.

No one knows your child better than you. This kicks in as soon as they enter the world. You start learning which cries mean hungry or indicate they’re in pain. You start to know by the looks on their face if they’re sick and as they get bigger, you can tell by a look on their face if something bigger is going on.

As a third grader, we have to trust our gut in new ways with ‘J.’ He’s always been big on keeping things bottled up but those feelings end up coming out in different ways. We don’t want this to be a norm for him and try our best to give him the tools he needs to express how he’s feeling. For example, we know there have been times things happen at school but he didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure who to tell or when or didn’t want to interrupt the schedule of the day. We continue to let him know how important it is to speak up and to let someone know how he’s feeling because no one can help him if they don’t know what’s going on.

We’re all about the tools in this house and always have been. For us, therapies have been helpful because they give him more tools for his toolbox to get through his day. I’ve talked before about how things that so many people take for granted throughout their day are tougher for him, so the more tools to help, the better.

One of our tools, as parents, is anticipation. Maybe that isn’t the best word, maybe preparation is better…probably both. We do are best to anticipate and prep him and his sister for upcoming activities. We show pictures, videos when possible, or just explain an itinerary in detail. This helps to avoid fear of the unknown and soften any anxiety that could arise. We also try our best to anticipate how they’re doing in any situation. We can see a look on their face and know they’re uncomfortable or tired or starting to get anxious. When that happens we can pull them to the side or distract them or we can also leave the situation we’re in. It all depends.

Are we perfect at preparation and anticipation? Nope. Do we screw up sometimes and then have to think about why they’re acting a certain way? Yup, plenty. But we try our best and as parents, that’s all we can do.

Having a child with a speech delay and sensory processing difficulties has changed the way we parent both of our kids, more on that in the next blog!

Sensory Items In My House That Just Make Sense

On By justmymomsenseIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Are you on TikTok? Do you spend too much scrolling through and watching videos throughout the day? Have you moved up to posting yet?

I have. I started pre-pandemic just scrolling randomly, trying to stay young and keep up with cool apps. And now I’m on it everyday!

But this blog isn’t about TikTok, just inspired by it. There’s a current trend to the song “Che La Luna” where people share things in their homes, their places of work, etc that just make sense. Yesterday, I decided to do one for Sensory Items.

In the video I included:

  • Noise Cancelling Headphones
  • Sensory Swing
  • Sensory Bin (with fidgets)
  • Sensory Diet Options Chart
  • Trampoline
  • Sensory Sand

Looking around my house today, I could’ve included more like a wiggle seat, beads, molding clay, etc. I’ve talked about various activites with sensory items in previous blogs, but putting them together in one place makes you realize just how much one can accumulate.

What sensory items do you have in your house that just make sense? Feel free to comment on this blog or find me on social media!

Twitter: @jenillo

Instagram: @justmymomsense or @jenillo

TikTok: @jenillotok

@jenillotok

#sensory #sensoryplay #sensorytoys #sensorybin #sensoryprocessingdisorder #parenting #parentsoftiktok #kids #kidsoftiktok #momlife #dadlife

♬ Che La Luna – Louis Prima