After a summer hiatus, Just My MomSense is back and I couldn’t be more excited!.
If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Jen, a mom navigating the everyday ups and downs of parenting, sharing stories, resources, and encouragement along the way.
This week’s episode is a solo one, where I’m catching you up on how summer went in our house, how we’re handling the big back-to-school transition, and what’s ahead for the podcast.
I’d love to hear from you too! How was your summer, and how is the back-to-school season going for your family? Share with me in the comments below or come connect on Instagram [@justmymomsense].
Just My MomSense: The Podcast is officially out in the world! I was excited (and a little nervous!) to finally hit publish on these first few episodes.
If you’re new here: I’m not an expert. I’m a mom learning, growing, and doing the best I can just like you. This podcast is a space for parents, caregivers, and anyone navigating the world of raising humans.
Let’s take a look at the first three episodes in case you missed them:
Episode 1: Introducing Just My MomSense
This one is short and sweet! I talk about why I started this podcast and what you can expect going forward. Every good series needs a Pilot episode!
In this episode I dive into all eight senses: what they are, how they work, and why understanding them is essential for supporting your kids (and yourself)
This episode has my first official guest, my friend Dr. Val! We talk all about how we really learn. We dive into the different learning styles and explore why recognizing these styles matters for kids and adults alike.
Looking forward to more interviews with experts and incredible parents, solo chats sharing my own tips, and resources I’ve found helpful along the way.
If you’ve listened, THANK YOU!
Subscribe on your favorite podcast app, and if you like what you hear, leave a quick rating or review. It helps so much in getting the word out.
The overall objective of World Mental Health Day is to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health.The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide. – World Health Organization
There is no shame in taking care of your mental health. There is no shame in admitting you need help to take care of your mental health. There is no shame in talking to others about your mental health.
I recognize that in 2023 there is still a stigma when in comes to discussing mental health. I realize there is still a stigma when people talk about going to therapy. However, I am thankful that the stigma seems to be diminishing as each year passes. As it should, right?
It’s hard to talk about sensory difficulties without talking about anxiety. They go hand in hand and can feed off each other easily. Providing your children with the right tools to help them overcome any of their challenges as early as possible can make such a difference. Whether that is speech therapy, occupational therapy, talk therapy, play therapy, while also working with them at home, it can all change how you and your child communicate and get through the day to day.
As a mom, talking to another parent that may be reading this, please know that taking care of your mental health is so important. It’s great to have a support system around you and some are lucky to have that. Whether you do or you don’t, it’s ok to also ask for additional help. Talking to a therapist, meditation, and working on yourself can do wonders for your kids. If you are not regulated, they won’t be either. Being a parent is tough, add having a child with anxiety, sensory difficulties, health issues or any other challenges and being a parent just got tougher. Please take care of yourselves as well.
During World Mental Health Day, I wish for kindness and compassion for all of us. I wish for everyone to feel peace and happiness. For those that aren’t feeling that way, please know it’s ok to ask for help.
If you’re a parent than you know that playing is one of the most important things children can do. There are so many benefits and it’s so beneficial to your child’s developement.
Once the school year begins and extracurricular activities ramp up, sometimes it’s hard to make time to just play. It’s easy to get caught up in the routine, the chores, going from one activity to the next, working and everything else parents have going on throughout their day.
It’s important to stop and play. Maybe not everyday, but as often as possible. We’re still at an age range where we can do playdates. We have friends we’ve made over the past couple of years that we can call to meet up with at a park, playground, library, bowling, or just hang at one of our houses. The kids are able to be in a comfortable place with some freedom and the ability to interact with each other. They’re able to learn from each other and work on communicating more effectively. The most important thing they’re able to do is have fun in a non-structured environment.
As parents, my husband and I also work to make sure we’re playing as a family. Sometimes we walk up to a nearby school and play Basketball, Box Ball, Wiffle Ball, help them across monkey bars, or just race each other across the field. I won’t tell you who normally wins those races…
Again, I know how much the daily grind can suck you in and you start to rely a little more on school for playing and socialization. However, doing those things outside of school is just as important. I try to be aware of it so that when I feel like it’s been a long week or a busy weekend where we were gogogo, I try to make sure we have that time to stop and play.
Added bonus: it’s just as beneficial to parents!
Want to learn more about the benefits of play? Check out some of these articles:
Be sure to check out A Few Of My Favorite Things for books, favorite authors, toys and more that can help with the transition back to school and all year round!
Let me know how you’re feeling about this time of year by leaving a comment or connecting on Instagram: @justmymomsense!
For the past few (or more) years, we have always known the Holidays are pretty overwhelming for ‘J.’ Typically the month leading up to Christmas (and his Birthday) prove to be a challenge. In years past, that has been expressed through tears, extreme frustration, attitude, being on edge, acting out of character, etc.
In November, we attended a lunch for my dad’s work. We were at our family’s favorite restaurant, which was a familiar place for ‘J.’ We sat at a table with my parents, my brother, sister-in-law and niece. Immediately, ‘J’ wanted out of the situation. There were moments he seemed settled and then once he was done eating, he just kept asking if we could leave.
Through some tears on the way home, we focused more on having a calm drive. When we got home, I sat with him 1:1 to talk through what he was feeling at the restaurant. The first thing he said was “Why is Christmas so overwhelming?”
It may sound weird, but I felt a bit of relief in that. And not that I want him to feel bad or be sad, but the fact that he was able to communicate that was HUGE to me. We talked through what felt like a lot to him, how it was different than other times we were in the restaurant and everything that happens in the month of December. I told him how great it was that he was able to communicate how he felt and that it’s important that he feels comfortable. I asked what we could do to make the holidays easier and what changes we could make. In the end, he was feeling better and ended the day on a high note.
Holidays are typically stressful for everyone. There are highs and lows, parties, gifts, seeing more family, etc. I think as adults, sometimes you feel like-eh, kids can get through it, they get gifts, what could be bad?
However for them, as they’re still figuring out the world, there’s a lot happening. Add in sensory difficulties and anxiety and the normal day to day struggle that ‘J’ goes through is now heightened. As adults, if we’re uncomfortable, we can remove ourselves from a situation, ask for help or change plans. That’s way tougher when you’re a kid.
This Holiday season, remember to listen to your child (or those around you). If they’re acting different, crying more, getting frustrated more easily, remember that there is always an underlying reason. They’re not trying to be bad or ruin the holidays. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they are people with feelings and opinions that should be respected just like anyone else.
If you’re the parent of a child with anxiety and sensory processing difficulties, take things one day, one hour, one minute, at a time. Remember to remain calm and keep yourself regulated (easier said than done, especially in this season) in order to be a safe place for your child. The Holidays may not look like you imagined, but that’s ok. Make the magic however you can in a way your child would appreciate.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of day to day life. I feel like most have returned to making plans, seeing friends and family and being generally “busy.” As adults, we often find ourselves having to hit the reset button. Sometimes we realize we need to get more sleep, eat healthier, exercise more or set new goals. As parents, it’s important to know when we need a parenting reset or our kids need their own reset.
Sensory Processing difficulties can play tricks on you as a parent. You may think you’ve found your groove or have a good routine going. Maybe your kids have grown more and they’re able to express their feelings in a better way. You may even find they’re having more good days than difficult. But kids are little people that are evolving, changing and constantly trying to figure out the world. When we’re in a routine with school, activities and playdates, it’s easy to put that fact on the back burner. We’re just doing instead of making conscious efforts.
‘J’ is seven and a half and in second grade. He’s doing awesome in school. He loves his friends and teacher (and doing extra homework). He was fully virtual last year but did great adjusting back to in person learning. Being around new kids and seeing how they interact was a bit tough at first. He witnessed some rougher play, hitting each other, yelling in each other’s faces, all of which is not his personality. It definitely made him uncomfortable but he’s good about knowing right from wrong and over time started to understand varying personalities.
We’re in NY and this winter has been tough. Not too many days where we could be outside and play. This has an effect on him every year. As soon as the weather gets nicer, we’re outside daily and it definitely helps him regulate his body. With the colder temps, snow and rain, it’s not so easy. His mood is affected, his body is affected and eventually a light bulb goes off in my mind that it’s time to hit the reset button.
With ‘J’ getting older, how his SPD affects him has changed as well. He can spot if there’s a tag in his clothing that he wants cut out before he even wears it which is an improvement from a few years ago. If he’s frustrated or not getting his way, he can’t process how his body reacts to that emotion. Some adults aren’t good at dealing with their frustrations and he’s human, of course he’s allowed to be frustrated sometimes.
However, for him, he takes it out on himself. There’s negative self talk, he physically takes out his frustration on himself and as parents, it’s hard to watch. Especially when, prior to 6 months ago, he never did that.
The best thing we can do in these moments is to stay calm and keep ourselves regulated. No problem when your kid is hurting himself right? It’s not always going to be perfect but it has to be the goal or else the problem will just escalate.
For us, hitting the reset button meant taking a step back to make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous while also not automatically reacting to everything he’s doing. It meant reminding ourselves that we need to stay calm in order for him to get back to that place too.
Bedtime was starting to get to be a struggle and I finally asked ‘J’ what was overwhelming him. He basically said he didn’t like being told what to do with the routine. So we said no problem, here’s everything we do before bed, how about you decide what you want to do first. This has been a game changer. The routine takes a little longer at night but we’re not in a battle anymore and that’s a huge win.
We also started incorporating sensory activities into our day again. This is one of those things that we can let slip when we’re so caught up in the day to day routine. Were we doing sensory activities some days? Yes. But not enough with conscious efforts behind it. We’re now having both kids choose what they want to do in the morning and in the afternoon on a chart. We have play-doh, beads, exercises, sensory swing time, reading a book in a rocking chair and others on the list. Some days we’ve brought their bicycles inside, put the training wheels in our shoes and let them pedal away to release some energy. They love this activity! They’ve used their imaginations to say where they’re going, what kind of adventures they’re encountering and who they may see along the way.
Going back to basics and remembering how important a sensory diet is (in whatever way you can fit it into your day), has helped mitigate some of those frustrating times. Of course they still happen and we will continue to work on different ways to get through those moments. Nothing will change overnight. It’s all about us as adults and our kids continuing to evolve, understanding emotions and figuring out ways to handle them.
Back in my day, there were walkers and bussers. Walkers were the kids who lived too close to the school and didn’t qualify for bus services. Bussers, well that one is obvious. I was a walker.
When registering ‘J’ for school, we had to sign forms for him to take the bus and were told we would receive a bus pass prior to school starting. I asked if I was able to drive him myself or if he was required to take the bus. The woman was taken aback by the question and said of course I could take him but that every child had the ability to take the bus.
I knew ‘J’ would never go for it.
We did try though. We talked to him about it and asked if he wanted to try. It was a big no. At the time, his sister was 2 and stated “I’m gonna take the bus when I go to school!”
We figured we would start the school year with me bringing him, and maybe once he saw friends taking the bus, he would want to as well. One day he finally agreed to take it home from school. This was huge!
I received a message from his teacher saying that he started to cry once he realized it was time to line up and walk out to the bus. She let me know his friends consoled him and all chanted his name. This made my heart melt. Once they got outside, the Principal and Vice Principal were also cheering him on. He went onto the bus in tears.
My biggest fear was that he’d try to run. When faced with fight or flight, he typically choose flight. We had prepped him leading up to it; we would meet him at the bus stop and he should not to get off the bus until he saw us. But we were still a bit nervous.
My husband, J’s sister and I all went to the corner to wait for him. We were talking to a neighbor when we heard honking, we look over and the bus had pulled up right in front of the house. We ran over and he walked off the bus in a pile of tears and sniffles. He did it! He rode the bus! Something he was so nervous about but he made it through.
He made it clear he never wanted to do it again.
The only other time he has taken the bus since that day was for his only field trip. They went to see a stage show of Frosty the Snowman. He sat next to his teacher and did great. I think being with his whole class, having the comfort of his teacher there and knowing I was picking him up once he returned to school helped to make that bus ride a whole lot easier.
Truth be told, having never taken a school bus myself (except for field trips), I was totally fine with the idea of picking him up and dropping him off. I just want him to always know the option is there for more independence. If he changes his mind one day and wants to ride the bus with his friends, we will support it. If not, that’s ok too.
In the final part of this series, I will discuss our experience with school closing due to Covid.
Just My MomSense 