Halloween With a Sensory-Sensitive Child | Costumes and Calm

Halloween looks like pure fun on the surface: costumes, candy, neighborhood excitement. But for a lot of sensory-sensitive and neurodivergent kids, it can be overwhelming: scratchy costumes, loud strangers, flashing lights, unpredictable noises, and a schedule that’s nothing like a normal evening. On today’s episode of the Just My MomSense podcast I’m talking about planning for Halloween and how it may not look the way you imagined.

Click here to listen to the full episode or listen on your favorite podcatcher!

As mentioned in the episode:

Halloween Communication Cards 

Holiday Calm Kit

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New Podcast Episode: Regulation 101

This week I’m breaking down regulation: what it actually is, the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation, and steps you can use the moment your child is overwhelmed.  Listen here:

Grab the free companion guide, Regulation 101 by clicking here.

Grab Dr. Matt’s book: Neurodiversity Playbook by clicking here.

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Between the Stacks | My Thoughts on Going to the Library

I have a hot take.

In fairness, I didn’t realize it was a hot take until recently, but apparently I was wrong.

Here it is: going to the library and using library resources is awesome!

Growing up, I barely went to the library. I remember stopping in from time to time but it wasn’t a constant thing. I never thought too much about it and that was because I didn’t know enough.

My kids have had their own library cards since they were infants. We would take them to music classes there and of course take out lots of books along the way. Since then our love for the library has grown.

Benefits of the Library:

  • The obvious: Taking out books! Your favorite books, new books, discovering new genres and authors, the opportunities are endless.
  • Movies! If you’re like me, you miss Blockbuster! Dust off that DVD player and head to your library on a Friday night to take out a movie. You get a hit of nostalgia and your kids get a little hint of what a weekend in the 90s was like!
  • Video Games! Have a gaming system but don’t want to invest in a game that you’re not sure you’ll love? Try it out courtesy of the library!
  • Museum Passes! Most libraries offer free passes to local museums, botanical gardens and more! Some even offer discounted tickets to local zoos and aquariums, so be sure to ask your librarian about their offerings.
  • Classes! From babies to adults, your library may offer music classes, workout classes, financial classes and everything in between.
  • Movie screenings, concerts and other entertainment opportunities! This one speaks for itself. Want to check out a movie you missed in the theater? It may be playing on a rainy Saturday at your library.
  • Work spaces! If you are a remote worker and need a quiet place to focus, this is the perfect place. Many libraries also offer conferences rooms you can rent and soundproof phone booths to take a call.
  • Passport services, 3D printers, Seed Libraries, Oh My! Honestly, there is so much your library may be offering that you may be unaware of; so it’s always great to ask about all of the possibilities when you visit.

Each summer, my county offers a library tour and a few years ago we did it! You can pick up a passport book and have it stamped at every library you visit! I wrote about our experience in a previous blog, which you can check out my clicking here. I loved this opportunity as it gave us a chance to visit libraries we may not have thought of visiting otherwise.

I love that my kids still love going to the library and have grown up there. They’ve attended classes, had playdates and taken out more books and movies than I can count. I feel fortunate that we have this amazing space in our neighborhood and so many others throughout the area.

So that’s it, that’s my hot take. Libraries are awesome and I recommend checking out the one in your neighborhood!

Love the library like we do? Leave a comment or follow along on social media, you may catch some of our library hauls!

Where else you can find me:

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Figuring This Out, Out Loud

I finally put out a new episode of the podcast! It’s been awhile and this one’s more of a stream of consciousness.

For a while now, this space has been a mix of two things: here’s what happened with my kids, and here’s what I learned from it. My kids are getting older, and I want to be more protective about what I’m sharing. I still want to be helpful. I still want to be honest. I just don’t want to keep narrating their lives to do it. Instead of leading with what happened with them, I want to lean more into what I’m learning, from books, from conversations with other parents, from professionals. The podcast has always felt like a place that sat in between their personal stories and what I’ve learned from them. Moving forward, I’m going to lean more into the what I’ve learned portion.

This won’t be perfectly consistent. Some episodes might still include a personal story that feels okay to share. Others will just be reflections, borrowed wisdom, or something I read that reframed my whole week.

Since life got away from me last year when it came to the podcast, I wanted to provide an update of where I’m at. Not much is changing but I wanted to share what I’ve been thinking.

If you’ve ever felt this same pull, wanting to share and wanting to protect at the same time, I’d love to hear how you’ve handled it. That’s kind of the whole point of this space anyway: figuring it out together, in real time.

🎧 Listen to the full episode, “Figuring This Out, Out Loud,” wherever you get your podcasts, or you can click ‘play’ below:

Where else you can find me:

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The 5-Minute Feelings Check-in That Can Change Your Morning

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we talk a lot in our house about tools in the toolbox.

Anything that helps you reset when big feelings show up is a tool. Breathing, listening to music, building something with Legos, going for a walk, sitting quietly for two minutes. All of it counts. There’s no right or wrong tool.

Kids do so much better when they already know what their tools are before a hard moment hits. When everyone is calm is exactly the right time to figure it out together, not in the middle of a meltdown when nobody can think straight.

A feelings check-in is exactly what it sounds like: a simple, intentional pause to ask “how are you feeling right now?” before the day gets away from you. The simpler the better.

Kids, especially young ones, often don’t have the language for what they’re feeling. When you give kids a regular, low-pressure moment to check in with their emotions, a few things happen:

  • They build emotional vocabulary. The more often a child practices naming feelings, the easier it becomes in harder moments.
  • They feel seen. Being asked “how are you feeling?” and having someone actually listen to the answer, tells a child that their inner world matters.
  • You catch things early. A quick check-in can reveal that your child is anxious about a test, sad about something that happened yesterday, or just tired. Things you might not have known until the meltdown.
  • It works for parents too. Checking in with yourself alongside your child models exactly the behavior you’re trying to teach. Kids learn emotional regulation by watching adults do it.

If you want something tangible to anchor the habit, I made a free one-page Feelings Check-In printable you can print and stick on the fridge.

It includes a simple mood scale kids can point to, a space to write one thing on their mind, a grounding prompt, and a check-in section for parents too because you deserve to be asked how you’re feeling as well.

Grab your free Feelings Check-In printable here!

Print it once, use it every day. Some families laminate it and use a dry erase marker. Some print a fresh one each week. Whatever works for your house.

The mornings won’t always be perfect. But having a simple tool that opens the door to connection, even on the hard days, makes a difference. Not just for your kids, but for you too.

What Is Co-Regulation? How Borrowing Your Calm Helps Kids Handle Big Emotions

Let’s talk about co-regulation.

Before our kids can regulate themselves, they borrow our nervous systems.

When your child is melting down, spiraling, shutting down, yelling, crying, freezing, their brain is in survival mode. The logical, problem-solving part? Offline. Gone. On vacation.

What brings it back?

Not lectures. Not consequences (yet). Not “calm down.”

Connection.

Co-regulation is the process of helping your child return to a regulated state by staying regulated yourself or at least regulated enough.

And yes. That’s the hard part.

Because when your child is dysregulated, it’s dysregulating. Especially if you’re tired. Or overstimulated. Or carrying your own stress.

But here’s what co-regulation can look like in real life:

  • Lowering your voice instead of raising it
  • Sitting beside them instead of towering over them
  • Saying, “I’m right here,” instead of “Go to your room”
  • Taking one deep breath out loud so they can hear it
  • Offering pressure (a hug, a hand squeeze) if they’re open to it

You are not rewarding bad behavior. You are helping their nervous system feel safe enough to think again.

Once they’re regulated, then you can talk about what happened. Then you can problem-solve. Then you can teach.

Self-regulation grows from co-regulation.

And if no one co-regulated you as a kid? This can feel almost impossible. You might not have had someone model calm in chaos. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn it now.

Start small.

Next time things escalate, instead of asking, “How do I stop this?” try asking:

“How can I lend my calm?”

Sometimes that’s enough to shift everything. We’re not aiming for perfect. We’re aiming for safe. And safe builds skills.

Helpful Tools and Resources for Parents

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but I’ve found tools and resources that make the tough days a little smoother. Whether you’re navigating sensory processing challenges, school struggles, or just need a moment to breathe, these resources have been a lifesaver for our family.

Below, you’ll find links to other sites I’ve found helpful, as well as my Favorite Things page, podcast episodes, and items from my Etsy shop, all curated to bring practical support, calm, and comfort to your parenting journey.

Explore these resources to help you manage parenting stress, neurodivergent needs, and everyday challenges with confidence.

Sensory Spectacle YouTube Channel

STAR Institute

These are a few of my Favorite Things

Embracing Neurodiversity with Dr. Matt Zakreski | Just My MomSense Podcast

Understanding How We Learn with Dr. Val | Just My MomSense Podcast

Just My MomSense Etsy Page

Understanding Different Types of Therapy for Kids and Families

This household is very pro therapy! However, it’s so hard to know where to start, what the different types of therapies mean and what may be best for you or your child. With it being Sensory Processing Awareness Month, I thought I would explore the many types of therapy available for children and families; from occupational and speech therapy to CBT and talk therapy.

Occupational Therapy (OT)

Occupational Therapy helps kids build the skills they need for everyday life, from tying shoes and brushing teeth to regulating their emotions.

Common goals:

  • Improving fine and gross motor skills
  • Building independence with self-care
  • Supporting emotional and sensory regulation

Speech Therapy

Speech therapy goes beyond pronunciation. It can also help children who struggle with communication, social interaction, and feeding.
Speech therapists work on everything from articulation and expressive language to understanding nonverbal cues.

Common goals:

  • Improving clarity and confidence in speech
  • Strengthening language comprehension
  • Supporting social communication and pragmatic skills

Physical Therapy (PT)

Physical therapists help children build strength, balance, and coordination. This therapy is especially beneficial for kids with developmental delays, low muscle tone, or motor planning challenges.

Common goals:

  • Increasing strength and endurance
  • Improving posture and balance
  • Building coordination for daily tasks and play

Play Therapy

Play therapy uses play, a child’s natural form of expression, to help them process big feelings and experiences. It can be especially effective for children who have anxiety, trauma, or difficulty expressing emotions verbally.

Common goals:

  • Building emotional awareness
  • Developing coping and problem-solving skills
  • Strengthening trust and communication with caregivers

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a type of talk therapy that helps children (and adults) recognize negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive, realistic ones.
It’s a powerful tool for anxiety, depression, and emotional regulation. Therapists often use visual aids, role-play, and journaling to make CBT age-appropriate and engaging.

Common goals:

  • Managing anxious or negative thoughts
  • Building resilience and confidence
  • Developing coping strategies for real-life challenges

Talk Therapy

Talk therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space for both kids and parents to explore feelings, relationships, and stressors. For parents, it can also be an invaluable form of support when navigating a child’s diagnosis or behavioral challenges.

Common goals:

  • Reducing stress and overwhelm
  • Improving communication within families
  • Processing emotions in a healthy, supported way

Feeding Therapy

Feeding therapy helps children who struggle with eating, whether due to sensory sensitivities, oral motor challenges, or anxiety around food.
A therapist might use gradual exposure, play, and desensitization to help make mealtime more positive and successful.

Common goals:

  • Increasing comfort with new foods
  • Building safe swallowing and chewing skills
  • Reducing mealtime anxiety and power struggles

Parent and Family Therapy

Therapy isn’t just for kids, it’s for families, too. Parent coaching or family therapy can help improve communication, set boundaries, and strengthen relationships.

Common goals:

  • Building teamwork between caregivers
  • Creating consistent routines
  • Understanding and supporting each child’s needs

Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Every child and every family is unique. What matters most is finding the right combination of support that meets your child where they are.

Whether it’s OT for sensory needs, CBT for anxiety, or play therapy to help your child open up, each form of therapy is a step toward greater understanding, connection, and confidence.

Understanding Sensory Processing Symptoms

If you’ve ever wondered why your child covers their ears at the sound of a vacuum, avoids certain clothes, or seems to crave movement all the time, you’re not alone. For me, I felt like I had pieces of a puzzle and on their own, they didn’t mean much but when I started putting them together, a bigger picture was being formed.

Sensory processing is how the brain receives and responds to input from our senses (touch, sound, taste, smell, sight, movement, and body awareness). For most people, the brain organizes these signals automatically. But for those with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) or sensory differences, the system can get a little tangled.

Some pieces of the puzzle we were collecting back when my 11 year old was 3:

  • Back in 2017, he wanted to be Woody for Halloween. The back of his costume closed with velcro. This was the first time we really noticed a piece of clothing bothering him. The sound, the feel of it, everything bothered him. To this day, he cuts all tags out of his clothing.
  • 2017 was also when his sister was born. If we were in the car and she started to cry, he would start to cry and beg us to help her and take him home. He had similar reactions to others crying, including friends.
  • He was visibly overwhelmed in crowds and even during a drive-thru Christmas light display.

I talked in an earlier blog on how I started collecting these pieces and googling, while also consulting with his speech therapist. The experience opened our eyes to what sensory processing really means and how it affects everyday life in ways most people don’t even notice.

At 11, he’s able to recognize when things are too much or too overwhelming for him. His sister has had her own sensory experiences. It’s been interesting to see the overlaps and the differences in what can affect them in their individual sensory processing.

Sensory processing symptoms can vary wildly, but they often fall into two main categories: sensory avoiding and sensory seeking.

Sensory Avoiding

Kids who are sensory avoiders might:

  • Cover their ears or run from loud noises (like hand dryers or fire alarms)
  • Refuse certain fabrics, tags, or seams in clothing
  • Dislike being touched or hugged unexpectedly
  • Avoid crowded or visually “busy” spaces
  • Prefer dim lights and quiet settings

They’re not being “difficult,” their brains are simply trying to protect them from sensory overload.

Sensory Seeking

On the flip side, sensory seekers might:

  • Constantly move, jump, spin, or crash into things
  • Touch everything within reach (including people!)
  • Make loud noises or seek vibration
  • Love messy play or crave strong tastes and textures
  • Find calm through deep pressure, like a weighted blanket or tight hug

Kids (and adults) can also be sensory seeking with certain things, but sensory avoiders with others.

Recognizing sensory processing symptoms isn’t about labeling a child, it’s about understanding them. When we start to see the “why” behind behaviors, everything changes. Instead of frustration, there’s compassion. Instead of punishment, there’s support.

Here are a few small ways to make a big difference:

  • Create a sensory-safe space or bucket at home. For example: a cozy corner with fidgets, soft lighting, and weighted items.
  • Build sensory breaks into the day: a swing in the yard, a walk after school, or quiet time with a favorite texture.
  • Work with an occupational therapist (OT) who specializes in sensory integration.
  • Follow your child’s lead. They’ll show you what they need, sometimes with words, sometimes with behavior.

Sensory processing isn’t about “fixing” our kids. It’s about understanding their world and helping them feel comfortable in it. Every sensory system is unique and that’s what makes our kids who they are.

If this topic speaks to you, you might also enjoy my post on my favorite sensory tools and items that have helped in our home.

You know yourself and your child best. Trust your gut, trust your “MomSense” because having the knowledge and the right tools can make all the difference.

Supporting Sensory Needs with Everyday Tools

With October being Sensory Processing Awareness Month, it’s a great time to talk about how our nervous systems process the world around us. Some children (and adults) seek more sensory input, while others avoid it and often, kids can show a mix of both depending on the situation.

Understanding the difference can make daily life feel smoother, and having the right tools on hand can transform overwhelm into comfort.

Sensory Seekers and Avoiders: Two Sides of the Same Coin

  • Sensory Seekers crave input. They might spin, jump, chew, or touch everything around them because their nervous system wants more.
  • Sensory Avoiders are easily overwhelmed by input. Tags in clothes, sudden noises, or bright lights can feel like “too much,” leading them to pull away, cover ears, or resist.

It’s important to remember that these aren’t opposites that cancel each other out. A child can be a seeker in one area (loving spinning and swinging) and an avoider in another (hating sticky or itchy textures).

Having the right resources at home, in the classroom, or even in the car can help kids feel grounded and safe. Some examples:

  • For sensory seekers: weighted balls, chewable jewelry, swings, trampolines, or fidget tools.
  • For sensory avoiders: soft tag-free clothing, noise-reducing headphones, blackout curtains, or cozy calming corners.
  • For both: books that explain sensory differences, flexible seating options, or tools that can be adapted depending on your child’s comfort level.

I’ve been keeping a list of items we have used (or similar). You can explore them all on my Favorite Things page. Whether you’re parenting a seeker, an avoider, or a little bit of both, this list is designed to help you find what works best for your family.

Sensory needs don’t disappear with age, they evolve. The more we learn, the better we can support our kids (and even ourselves) with patience, empathy, and the right resources. If you’re just beginning this journey, know you don’t have to figure it all out alone and simple tools can make a big difference.