Although the holiday season can be magical, joyful, and full of tradition, it can feel loud, overwhelming, unpredictable, and exhausting. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
On my latest Just My MomSense podcast episode, I talk more about why the holidays can be so overstimulating, how anxiety and sensory challenges feed into each other, and what we can do to help our kids (and ourselves) move through the season with more calm.
You can listen here or on your favorite podcasting platform!
During the 2020 Holiday Season, I got to interview the one and only Santa Clause on the Dillo’s Diz Podcast. With still so much uncertainty surrounding us, it was a comfort to be speaking with someone so magical. Aside from the huge honor of interviewing him, we were also chatting about VisitSantaOnline.com, where families could book a zoom call with the big guy himself!
We had been to visit Santa in person in previous years when the kids were in the baby/toddler stage. Since some time had passed, they were feeling a little nervous about seeing him in real life. As we all know, 2020 was a time where not many things were happening in person. The combination of these two factors had me running to this new way to connect with St. Nick!
The visit was amazing! Santa connected with both kids, who were 3 and 6 at the time, and brought Christmas magic to life. He was able to chat with them about some of their wishes for Christmas, school and more. 3 years later, they have continued to talk about it and we decided to book another call with Santa.
With 5 days left until Christmas, we appreciated Santa finding time out of his busy schedule to once again chat with us. Now at 9 and 6, the kids were once again star struck seeing him again. Another magical memory has been made.
If your child is a bit skiddish about meeting Santa in person, if a mall setting would be too overwhelming, or maybe scheduling an in person meeting is tough, I highly recommend checking out VisitSantaOnline.com. You get time to chat with Santa and a recording of the zoom call once it’s done. It’s a fantastic experience!
Thankful for the Christmas season, for watching magic through my kids’ eyes and for Santa as he creates memorable moments!
For the past few (or more) years, we have always known the Holidays are pretty overwhelming for ‘J.’ Typically the month leading up to Christmas (and his Birthday) prove to be a challenge. In years past, that has been expressed through tears, extreme frustration, attitude, being on edge, acting out of character, etc.
In November, we attended a lunch for my dad’s work. We were at our family’s favorite restaurant, which was a familiar place for ‘J.’ We sat at a table with my parents, my brother, sister-in-law and niece. Immediately, ‘J’ wanted out of the situation. There were moments he seemed settled and then once he was done eating, he just kept asking if we could leave.
Through some tears on the way home, we focused more on having a calm drive. When we got home, I sat with him 1:1 to talk through what he was feeling at the restaurant. The first thing he said was “Why is Christmas so overwhelming?”
It may sound weird, but I felt a bit of relief in that. And not that I want him to feel bad or be sad, but the fact that he was able to communicate that was HUGE to me. We talked through what felt like a lot to him, how it was different than other times we were in the restaurant and everything that happens in the month of December. I told him how great it was that he was able to communicate how he felt and that it’s important that he feels comfortable. I asked what we could do to make the holidays easier and what changes we could make. In the end, he was feeling better and ended the day on a high note.
Holidays are typically stressful for everyone. There are highs and lows, parties, gifts, seeing more family, etc. I think as adults, sometimes you feel like-eh, kids can get through it, they get gifts, what could be bad?
However for them, as they’re still figuring out the world, there’s a lot happening. Add in sensory difficulties and anxiety and the normal day to day struggle that ‘J’ goes through is now heightened. As adults, if we’re uncomfortable, we can remove ourselves from a situation, ask for help or change plans. That’s way tougher when you’re a kid.
This Holiday season, remember to listen to your child (or those around you). If they’re acting different, crying more, getting frustrated more easily, remember that there is always an underlying reason. They’re not trying to be bad or ruin the holidays. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they are people with feelings and opinions that should be respected just like anyone else.
If you’re the parent of a child with anxiety and sensory processing difficulties, take things one day, one hour, one minute, at a time. Remember to remain calm and keep yourself regulated (easier said than done, especially in this season) in order to be a safe place for your child. The Holidays may not look like you imagined, but that’s ok. Make the magic however you can in a way your child would appreciate.
Wishing you all a magical Holiday Season!
Holiday Assemblies
I hate attention. I say this as someone who co-hosts two podcasts and does YouTube Lives. Guess you could say I’m a bit of an introvert/extrovert. When I was in school, I never liked public speaking, performing in a play, answering questions just in case I was wrong even when I knew I was right, etc. I was way too nervous. A little shy. Was there more to it than that? The early stages of my own anxiety? Probably.
I mentioned in the previous blog how much ‘J’ loved Kindergarten and that is 100% true. HOWever, once he started practicing for his Holiday Assembly, things started to shift. Especially when he went into the auditorium for rehearsals. The size of the stage, the bright lights, the echo, he was not feeling any of it. He didn’t want to sing the songs he had been singing all month long in and out of school. He didn’t want to be up on stage in front of everyone, he wanted nothing to do with it.
On the day of the performance, it was an extra hard drop off. His teacher was amazing and in the days leading up to it, she told him that he could stay with her until he was comfortable to go up on stage. Since this was December, 2019, we were able to go to the school to watch. There would also be a gingerbread house decorating activity after the performance for families.
The three of us walked into school to sign in for the show. I looked down the hall to ‘J’s” classroom, his teacher made eye contact with us and waived us down. I knew things weren’t good. We walked down to the end of the hallway to his classroom and saw him behind a desk, eating a graham cracker with puffy eyes. His friends were around him, checking in on him and telling him everything would be ok. He looked up to see us and ran right into my arms crying. All four of us went to the auditorium together and took our seats, right in front of the stage, behind his teacher.
His class walked in and took their spots on stage. We asked him if he wanted to go up with them and he said no. His teacher asked if he wanted to sit next to her and he said no. He stayed on my lap the whole time, watching his friends sing the songs he grew to love.
The thing about ‘J’ is, when he gets himself worked up to the point of not participating in something, he never feels like he’s missing out. He feels relieved, happy and content. He was happy to be watching his friends and cheered them on. Afterwards, we were all at one long table, building gingerbread houses together and all his anxiety was lifted. He returned to the happy boy he is, laughing with his friends.
Our heart breaks watching him struggle with new situations. His anxiety spikes, he wants to run away, he cries. As parents, we want the best for him and for him to be able to branch out and try new things. At the same time, he knows what he likes and what makes him comfortable. Sometimes he does need that nudge, like going into school. But other times, if something is overwhelming him to the point of tears, is it worth the push? We’ve seen the outcome of that and it’s typically not good.
Seeing your child on stage for the first time may be something you’ve thought about with excitement. And it may turn out exactly how you imagined. But there is that chance that it just may not go according to plan.
In Part 3, I’ll chat about taking the Bus.
Just My MomSense 