The First Day of School

During my blog hiatus, I thought about a lot of different posts I wanted to do and this was one of them.

‘J’ is coming up on finishing 1st grade.

<Excuse me while I go cry.>

When starting Kindergarten last year, ‘J’ was so nervous. While most kids were posing in front of the big “First Day of School” signs in front of the school, I was focused on just getting him out of the car and through the front doors. I asked if I could take a picture of him, but I already knew the answer – no. In the world of social media, I knew all these parents would have pictures of their kids with the signs, posting them everywhere, and showing off those “perfect” moments.

Did the fact that I wouldn’t be a part of that bother me? No. Because it doesn’t matter! Social Media is not real life. It shows real moments in the midst of life but at the end of the day it’s not what matters. I say this as someone that incorporates social media into her daily life, so I’m not judging others that do the same!

The thing that mattered most to me was making sure ‘J’ was ok and had the best 1st day possible. We arranged a walk through of the school the week prior. He got to meet his Vice Principal, see his classroom, check out the cafeteria, specials classrooms and got a feel of the school. We made a social story for him that we read in the days leading up to school. Anything that was going to help with this transition, we were all about. The Vice Principal and I had a chat about how he may need some help on the first day.

And he did. He was so nervous, even after seeing a friend. As soon as the doors open, he was crying and clinging to me. I made eye contact with the Vice Principal, she came right over, pulled him off of me and walked him into school. I turned around, held my breath and cried in my car.

The tears were a mix of things:

Relief – I did it! He’s at school, he’s going to love it, I just had to get him there. (Just as a note: my husband read him his social story and pep talked him along the way. But we decided for drop off, it would be best for just a 1:1 instead of all four of us.)

Mom Guilt – Oh my God, I just left my baby boy in a new school with strangers! Knowing this was silly and I’d laugh about it later, in the moment, it was hard letting go.

Nervous – Knowing he would be fine, but hoping I wasn’t going to get a call during the day that the tears hadn’t stopped.

As the year went on, some drop offs were better than others but none were perfect. He never walked into school excited. BUT he absolutely loved everything about school. His teacher, friends he made, what he was learning, his specials, all of it. He was so happy during the hours of 8:10 and 2:15. From 8:09-8:10, not so much.

If your child has sensory processing difficulties and anxiety or maybe they’re shy and want to approach school experiences differently, my best advice would be to follow their lead. Go with the flow. Don’t feel the pressure of other parents, your own family, social media or what someone may see as “normal.” If you get that perfect picture in front of their new school, great! If you got one at home (like we did), fantastic! If you get none, oh well! As long as they were happy, you got through the first day as a parent and they got through the first day as a kid, that’s all that matters.

In Part 2 I’ll chat about Holiday Assemblies.