Yesterday was big! ‘J’ knows it and we know it.

If you’ve read this blog before, you know that ‘J’ has had struggles going into school and going to swim lessons. He got through them both, but it was difficult. Before the pandemic, we had attempted a Ninja Warrior class at the same place we used to take mommy and me classes. I thought he would love it. He loves to run, jump and create obstacle courses, this would be perfect!

It wasn’t.

Although I would be able to watch him during the class, a counter separated us which was too much of a separation for ‘J.’ There are things that we have to force him to do that aren’t easy for him: school, going to the doctor, etc. This wasn’t something he HAD to do, so we didn’t go back.

With some time having passed, we decided to try again this past spring. This time, his sister was also old enough for the class and I thought having each other would help.

It didn’t.

His sister however loved it and we signed her up for Ninja Warrior class, as well as Gymnastics. He came with us to watch her a few times and never felt like he was missing out. A feeling I never want him to have. He was ok with his decision which made us ok with it too. In the meantime, we found a LEGO challenge class online and most recently a virtual drawing class. He was comfortable with this set up, especially after a year of virtual school.

Their two best friends recently decided to try classes at the same location. I mentioned it to ‘J’ and asked if would want to try again, he said no and was still ok not being there. Then his sister, and two friends tried the Karate class. This was something we had offered to him before and something we knew he would like. He came with me as we watched the trial class. As he sat there, he kept saying “I wish I could do that too.” I said “You can! I’m sure they’d even let you try this class if you wanted to.” He said he wouldn’t be able to because he would cry. This was the first class where he felt like he was missing out on something. We talked about it as the week went on. I suggested we email the teachers to see if we could arrive a few minutes early, he can get comfortable there and try it out. Each day he went back and forth about it. In the meantime, I had emailed the teachers who have known both kids since they were babies (due to those mommy and me classes) and they said he could absolutely try it out.

‘J’ has gotten all in on Pokemon cards. There’s one in particular he wants and we decided to put it out there as motivation (a bribe?). If he got through 3 Karate classes, he could get the card. He still continued to debate whether or not he wanted to try.

This brings us to yesterday, the day of the class. We didn’t talk about it too much but it was known that today was the day. The kids played outside in the sprinkler, we had lunch, they showered up and we left early to go to class.

The fact that he didn’t get too nervous prior to getting in the car – a win!

We pulled into the parking lot and he said his belly hurt. I told him to take a deep breath and we were just going to do things one step at a time. We walked in, hung out a bit and the teachers said how excited they were that he was going to try the class. He sipped on his water and went in to play on the equipment for a bit. All classes start this way. Although he had made it as far as open play before, I still considered this a win.

I was a bit nervous knowing that his biggest hurdle would be when they officially started class and went over to the red circle for warm ups. The music turned off and the teachers said “ok come on over everybody!” And off he went.

This. was. huge. He was in the circle, warming up, sharing stories. My eyes were welled up. If he did nothing else today, I was so proud of him for getting this far.

He got through the entire class, no tears, no running away, never saying he couldn’t do it. He followed the instructor’s moves, went through the mini workouts and had fun doing it. His first trip out to me for a sip of water he pulled down his mask and said “Am I doing good?” I told him he was doing awesome and his eyes started to well-I told him to take a deep breath, he had this and he ran back in. At the end class, he asked for a uniform and his white belt.

When we got home, I talked to him one on one and asked if he was proud of himself. He said he was and that he had fun. I told him I was too.

This was the first time that we walked into a building and he never had hesitation from that point on. There were no tears, there was no struggle and in the end he was proud of himself.

Was it knowing his sister and best friends were in the class? Was it because this was a class he really wanted to do? Was it the bribe of a Pokemon card? Maybe it was coming off a Disney trip where he went on three big rides and had more confidence? I think a combination of all of the above.

I’m holding back tears writing this because of how monumental it is. I know other parents who have kids with daily struggles understand it. Small wins are wins. Big wins are mind blowing.

Oh, and he’s going back for gymnastics today!