School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 2

On By justmymomsenseIn school1 Comment

Holiday Assemblies

I hate attention. I say this as someone who co-hosts two podcasts and does YouTube Lives. Guess you could say I’m a bit of an introvert/extrovert. When I was in school, I never liked public speaking, performing in a play, answering questions just in case I was wrong even when I knew I was right, etc. I was way too nervous. A little shy. Was there more to it than that? The early stages of my own anxiety? Probably.

I mentioned in the previous blog how much ‘J’ loved Kindergarten and that is 100% true. HOWever, once he started practicing for his Holiday Assembly, things started to shift. Especially when he went into the auditorium for rehearsals. The size of the stage, the bright lights, the echo, he was not feeling any of it. He didn’t want to sing the songs he had been singing all month long in and out of school. He didn’t want to be up on stage in front of everyone, he wanted nothing to do with it.

On the day of the performance, it was an extra hard drop off. His teacher was amazing and in the days leading up to it, she told him that he could stay with her until he was comfortable to go up on stage. Since this was December, 2019, we were able to go to the school to watch. There would also be a gingerbread house decorating activity after the performance for families.

The three of us walked into school to sign in for the show. I looked down the hall to ‘J’s” classroom, his teacher made eye contact with us and waived us down. I knew things weren’t good. We walked down to the end of the hallway to his classroom and saw him behind a desk, eating a graham cracker with puffy eyes. His friends were around him, checking in on him and telling him everything would be ok. He looked up to see us and ran right into my arms crying. All four of us went to the auditorium together and took our seats, right in front of the stage, behind his teacher.

His class walked in and took their spots on stage. We asked him if he wanted to go up with them and he said no. His teacher asked if he wanted to sit next to her and he said no. He stayed on my lap the whole time, watching his friends sing the songs he grew to love.

The thing about ‘J’ is, when he gets himself worked up to the point of not participating in something, he never feels like he’s missing out. He feels relieved, happy and content. He was happy to be watching his friends and cheered them on. Afterwards, we were all at one long table, building gingerbread houses together and all his anxiety was lifted. He returned to the happy boy he is, laughing with his friends.

Our heart breaks watching him struggle with new situations. His anxiety spikes, he wants to run away, he cries. As parents, we want the best for him and for him to be able to branch out and try new things. At the same time, he knows what he likes and what makes him comfortable. Sometimes he does need that nudge, like going into school. But other times, if something is overwhelming him to the point of tears, is it worth the push? We’ve seen the outcome of that and it’s typically not good.

Seeing your child on stage for the first time may be something you’ve thought about with excitement. And it may turn out exactly how you imagined. But there is that chance that it just may not go according to plan.

In Part 3, I’ll chat about taking the Bus.

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 1

On By justmymomsenseIn school1 Comment

The First Day of School

During my blog hiatus, I thought about a lot of different posts I wanted to do and this was one of them.

‘J’ is coming up on finishing 1st grade.

<Excuse me while I go cry.>

When starting Kindergarten last year, ‘J’ was so nervous. While most kids were posing in front of the big “First Day of School” signs in front of the school, I was focused on just getting him out of the car and through the front doors. I asked if I could take a picture of him, but I already knew the answer – no. In the world of social media, I knew all these parents would have pictures of their kids with the signs, posting them everywhere, and showing off those “perfect” moments.

Did the fact that I wouldn’t be a part of that bother me? No. Because it doesn’t matter! Social Media is not real life. It shows real moments in the midst of life but at the end of the day it’s not what matters. I say this as someone that incorporates social media into her daily life, so I’m not judging others that do the same!

The thing that mattered most to me was making sure ‘J’ was ok and had the best 1st day possible. We arranged a walk through of the school the week prior. He got to meet his Vice Principal, see his classroom, check out the cafeteria, specials classrooms and got a feel of the school. We made a social story for him that we read in the days leading up to school. Anything that was going to help with this transition, we were all about. The Vice Principal and I had a chat about how he may need some help on the first day.

And he did. He was so nervous, even after seeing a friend. As soon as the doors open, he was crying and clinging to me. I made eye contact with the Vice Principal, she came right over, pulled him off of me and walked him into school. I turned around, held my breath and cried in my car.

The tears were a mix of things:

Relief – I did it! He’s at school, he’s going to love it, I just had to get him there. (Just as a note: my husband read him his social story and pep talked him along the way. But we decided for drop off, it would be best for just a 1:1 instead of all four of us.)

Mom Guilt – Oh my God, I just left my baby boy in a new school with strangers! Knowing this was silly and I’d laugh about it later, in the moment, it was hard letting go.

Nervous – Knowing he would be fine, but hoping I wasn’t going to get a call during the day that the tears hadn’t stopped.

As the year went on, some drop offs were better than others but none were perfect. He never walked into school excited. BUT he absolutely loved everything about school. His teacher, friends he made, what he was learning, his specials, all of it. He was so happy during the hours of 8:10 and 2:15. From 8:09-8:10, not so much.

If your child has sensory processing difficulties and anxiety or maybe they’re shy and want to approach school experiences differently, my best advice would be to follow their lead. Go with the flow. Don’t feel the pressure of other parents, your own family, social media or what someone may see as “normal.” If you get that perfect picture in front of their new school, great! If you got one at home (like we did), fantastic! If you get none, oh well! As long as they were happy, you got through the first day as a parent and they got through the first day as a kid, that’s all that matters.

In Part 2 I’ll chat about Holiday Assemblies.

Let’s Go to CAMP!

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Before we start, there’s no need to pack your tent, sleeping bags or s’mores ingredients, because I’m referring to a different kind of Camp.

On second thought, you should never not pack s’mores ingredients.

Camp, a family experience company, currently has five locations in three states: New York, Connecticut and Texas. Each location is based on a different camp experience:

  • Base Camp: Explore and discover the wonders of nature, arts & crafts, sports, theatre and fun.
  • Toy Lab Camp: Test and shop for the best toys of the season.
  • Travel Camp: Explore the wonders of the world.
  • Cooking Camp: Explore the evolution of food; from farm to our kitchen table.

You can learn more about Camp by visiting camp.com and by listening to the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast, with special guests Counselor Dan and Counselor Matt!

My work history includes experiential marketing and retail, but hearing about Camp, blew anything I knew out of the water. Being a mom, I love immersive experiences for the whole family and that’s exactly what Camp provides. The best part is, if you’re not near a location, you can take part in their virtual experiences. Unfortunately, I haven’t visited a Camp location yet, but it is on my To-Do list so stay tuned for a follow up!

You can also shop their educational based products in person or online. Here are a few products that stood out to me (descriptions pulled from camp.com):

Fat Brain Dimpl Duo

For 12+ months, one side has silicone buttons embossed with different shapes, with their matching words labeled in English and Braille. Flip the whole thing over and the buttons are smooth, and the words match the colors.

Mad Mattr

For ages 3+, not only is Mad Mattr perfect for creating calm, relaxing and imaginative fun, it’s also great for strengthening fingers, hands, wrists, and more.

Fat Brain SpinAgain

For ages 12 months+, this toy is designed to combine the early developmental benefits of stacking with the thrill of watching colorful discs that corkscrew down, down, down the pole. They can make a rainbow, arrange pieces by size and shape, or just go rogue like some kind of twisted toddler. 

Camp.com is full of Sensory, STEM and Educational toys and books, you definitely need to check out all they have to offer.

You can follow @CampStores on Instagram and Facebook. You can also subscribe to Camp on YouTube for past virtual experiences, as well as Music Mondays!

*I am not affiliate of Camp, nor am I sponsored by Camp. I just think it’s awesome!

Happy Earth Day!

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Picture it: 5 AM in my house (said in my Sophia Petrillo voice):

‘J’ wakes up, comes into our room and excitedly whispers IT’S EARTH DAY IT’S EARTH DAY!

Do I love how into Earth Day he is? YES

Do I love how he wants to learn more about helping the environment? YES

Do I love that he wanted to buy the Earth a gift? YES

Do I love that he acted like it was Christmas morning and woke everyone else up? No, no I don’t. But hey, ya win some ya lose some.

‘J’ has been learning about Earth Day this week in school. He’s learned all about reducing, reusing and recycling. Watching all of this reminds me that each generation gets smarter. It’s awesome being a fly on the wall to watch it all.

‘J’ and his sister were all in for some Earth Day photos. We worked on arts and crafts by reusing various materials and planted some flowers in old coffee cans. How did you celebrate Earth Day?

L to R: Creating the earth with a paper plate, paint and a ziplock bag, Making flowers out of recycled paper, planting flowers in old coffee cans

Special Ed Rising

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I love sharing other great resources!

My friend Mark, recently started a blog: specialedrising.com. Special Ed Rising is a joyful place for sharing, learning, celebrating and discovery. Mark’s background contains over 30 years of experience in special education and ASL. His site is a fantastic resource for the special needs community, as well as a place for others to share their story.

On this week’s episode of the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast, we had Mark on to talk more about his site. You can listen to that episode by clicking here.

The Battle of Tooth

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Losing a 1st tooth is a major milestone. Adult teeth want to come through, so the baby teeth need to go. It’s also another sign for a parent that time goes by so fast and my babies are getting bigger by the second. Excuse me while I go cry.

Ok I’m back. Enough about me, let’s talk about ‘J’s experience losing his first tooth.

One day when I was picking him up from school last year, a boy, also in Kindergarten, was leaving a little early with his mom because he had lost a tooth. That was the moment where I thought “oh my goodness, is this when they start losing teeth?!”

That night, I started talking to ‘J’ about losing his baby teeth. Explaining to a sensory kid that his teeth were going to fall out, did not go over well. At that point, none of his teeth were loose and we left it alone.

Now in 1st grade, most of his friends are showing up to class displaying their new toothless smiles daily. ‘J’s’ bottom two teeth have been a little wiggly for awhile and he would fall asleep sometimes wiggling them. Until it got too real. Once they got looser, he realized this was going to happen soon and he was not happy about it. He didn’t want us checking them, he didn’t want to wiggle them anymore and teeth brushing became more of a battle. For about a week one tooth was barely hanging on, and although he had fears of swallowing it in his sleep, he didn’t want us to get it out either.

The other day, as he was playing in the morning, he started crying and freaking out. His tooth had basically come out, but was now laying on top of his gum. He was so scared, didn’t want us to go near him, was talking without opening his mouth. I was trying everything and by everything, I mean bribes.

Want to watch a YouTube show you don’t get to watch often?

How about lunch at McD’s?

Nothing was working. Out of no where, he had been sitting on the floor, climbed up on the couch, looked at me and started crying hysterically. And I knew why.

I told him to try to breathe and stay still, had him open his mouth and got the tooth out from under his tongue. He continued to cry for a few minutes after. He looked at himself in the mirror and cried some more because he looked different. He worried about what other people would think of him missing a tooth, sad that the baby tooth was gone and wishing he was still a baby so he didn’t have to lose teeth. All was heartbreaking to watch and a hard experience for him to go through. Not to mention his 4 year old sister may be a bit traumatized having witnessed weeks of turmoil regarding this tooth.

Days later, he’s feeling better and getting more used to his new look. The neighboring tooth is ready to go, so I think his second experience will be happening sooner rather than later.

Sensory kids feel things a lot more than other kids. Their senses are heightened and what may seem like a fun milestone to someone, may not be to another. This is similar to other challenges on a day to day basis. What may be easy for one person, may be a struggle for another. It’s important to remember to have patience and understanding for any individual’s experience.

Is Speech Therapy Still a Part of Our Lives?

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Yes!

Once ‘J’ went to Kindergarten, we had to part ways with his Speech Therapist that he had been seeing since he was 2. I may have been the most distraught, buuuuut luckily she will always be family to us!

For the last two years, ‘J’ has been working with the school’s speech therapist who has been great. He’s been working hard on the sounds that still give him pause and has been progressing nicely along the way. After talking with his Speech Therapist, he will no longer be receiving an IEP for speech next year, but will be receiving speech through the school. Not too much of a change for him, just less paperwork on the back end. His mind tends to move faster than the words come out, so conversationally, it’ll be great for him to continue receiving services. We can all hear the difference speech therapy has made for him over the years.

As I mentioned in the last blog, I co-host the Magical Mommy Monday podcast. Remember that speech therapist that is now family? She was kind enough to come on and chat with us. I may have cried….just a tad…due to the impact she’s had on our life and the love she has for ‘J.’

Click here to listen to the episode and learn more about speech therapy.

Magical Mommy Monday Meets Sensory Spectacle

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If you’ve checked out my previous blogs, then you saw a series written by Becky Lyddon, founder of Sensory Spectacle.

Fun fact: I host two podcasts! One is Theme Park Thursday with Dillo’s Diz, with my brother, where we focus on Disney nostalgia. The other is Magical Mommy Monday with my friend, Angela Dahlgren.

Ok, now that the cheap plugs are done, we can move on.

Becky was kind enough to take time out of quarantine to chat with us on the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast. Along with her amazing YouTube videos and her website containing trainings, she also has a podcast as well.

Click here to check out episode with Becky to learn more about her background, sensory processing and Sensory Spectacle!

You can visit Becky’s one stop shop for Sensory Spectacle here: https://www.sensoryspectacle.co.uk/

Attacking Anxiety

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After 4 months in the house, the uncertainty of the new school year and ‘J’s’ overall anxiety, we decided to look into having him talk to a therapist.

Last year, the plan was to have him start working on his daily challenges with an Occupational Therapist and then in the summer add in an aspect of therapy to focus on his social and separation anxiety. We originally thought this would happen in a group setting with other kids and had found a great place that focused on play therapy. With Covid, plans were ever-changing.

I reached out to the school psychologist to see if she had any recommendations for an outside psychologist. After researching and making sure our insurance would be taken, we were able to make an appointment. ‘J’ was nervous at first, especially after the previous 4 months, but warmed up quickly.

‘J’ has been going to therapy weekly for about 6 months now. There’s a mix of talking, playing games and focusing on tools he can use in moments of frustration or anxiety. Most adults aren’t able to keep their emotions in tact and think before they act, so of course a 6 year old is going to struggle a bit too. Especially when big feelings come up out of no where. Some days or moments are tougher than others but he works hard, as do we, to mitigate the anxieties that arise.

I’ve said this before, but if you were to meet ‘J,’ chances are you would never see or know the challenges he has. He may go 3 weeks without a care in the world. He may have an entire week where he is on edge, fully of anxiety and just getting dressed in the morning or having lunch could seem incredibly overwhelming. Other times, it could just be a fleeting moment where he can breathe through it and move on.

He is easily overwhelmed and when he has a list of assignments to complete, something surprises him, or there’s too much noise and commotion, he can shut down quickly. Something that didn’t affect him yesterday, could affect him tomorrow.

We are so proud at how well he has done with school being virtual. The consistency of knowing what his day to day would be was a big selling factor for us decided to do 100% virtual. His teacher is great, he’s learning so much and is now acting like a CEO with all of his google meets. Those moments, days or weeks do happen, in the same way they would happen when he went to school and would come home to let it all out.

We all have to remember to keep breathing through the challenges, think before reacting and not take our day to day for granted. What may seem like something silly to us, could be major for someone with Sensory Processing difficulties.

A Sensory Evaluation: Take 2

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During his Kindergarten year, ‘J’ received Occupational Therapy at school. His Occupational Therapist (OT) was awesome and we stayed in contact to keep each other in the loop. However, occupational therapy in school typically focuses more on fine motor skills (ie: handwriting) and whether or not the student cannot focus in class. ‘J’ was doing great in both of these areas. Unfortunately, the school could not provide more assistance when it came to sensory difficulties. They did not have the space or types of therapies to assist students in this way. It was recommended that ‘J’ would not receive OT for 1st grade.

Knowing that ‘J’ struggled with lighting, sounds and still had separation anxiety during morning drop off, we had him evaluated by an outside OT. He was evaluated at the end of February, 2020 in the areas of Touch Processing, Visual, Oral, Movement and Motor. Without going into specific details, he received scores under the categories of “More Than Others” or “Much More Than Others.”

It was recommended that ‘J’ receive occupational therapy for help reduce sensory sensitivity in the area of auditory, touch processing, visual, oral and sensory seeking behaviors. There would be focus on strategies to help reduce anxiety in social settings, to make him become more comfortable with challenges and to adapt to given situations within his life.

We were able to have two sessions with his new occupational therapist before everything shut down due to Covid. In the meantime, I came up with a Sensory Diet (pictured below), bought some fidget toys to assist with the sensory bin and luckily it was spring which meant lots of opportunity for outside play.

Like everyone else, we had to adjust our daily life. Although we were looking forward to have ‘J’ get started with occupational therapy to focus on his challenges, we did the best we could without it.