Author: justmymomsense

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 4

On By justmymomsenseIn school1 Comment

A Pandemic

In this series, I’ve talked a lot about J in Kindergarten. There was something else that happened that year which affected all of us: Covid.

In the days leading up to March 13th, we started hearing about some local schools closing as Covid cases were rising. We wondered if our school would follow along and second guessed even sending him in the meantime.

On Friday, March 13th, I picked J up from school. He was sent home with a packet of work and some login information for various websites as a “just in case.” At 5:00, we received a call that the school district would be closing for the following week. On Monday, the announcement came that they wouldn’t return until the end of March. As we all now know, in person learning was done for the year.

I’m thankful J had the teacher he did and that we are a part of an amazing school district. There were calls, emails and constant communication. Teachers sent out materials, websites, calendars with suggested activities and learning to get everyone through this time. In April, the staff got together and did a neighborhood parade where they drove through the district, honking the horns of their decorated cars and putting smiles on everyone’s faces. J was so excited to see his teacher again. It brought tears to my eyes.

In May, the staff from the High School drove around placing “Class of 2020” signs in front of the homes of the seniors. We have neighbors that were a part of this and I completely lost it watching the parents and kids hugging as the signs were placed. This was such a crazy time for all kids and senior year is supposed to be the best year. The class of 2020 had it cut short and turned upside down.

We spent the summer wondering what school would look like once Fall came. What decisions would the school make? What decisions would we have to make?

Ultimately the school decided to offer two options. The first was a hybrid model. You could send your child in twice a week (3 days every other week) and on the days they were home, they would learn remotely. The second was a fully virtual model, which is what we chose.

J works best when he’s in a routine and knows what to expect each day. We felt the back and forth of the hybrid model, coming off of a year of tough drop offs, would have had a negative impact. Although learning virtually would be new and have an adjustment period, at least it was consistent.

Prior to the holidays, J’s school returned to a full in person model, for those that were interested. If we had sent J back, he would have had to start with a new teacher, in a new class. This was also around the time that cases were once again rising. We decided to keep him virtual. As the year went on, the option to send him back remained open. There were kids from his class that went back and kids that had been in person, that joined his virtual class. The constant uncertainty among parents was clear. Everyone had to make decisions that worked best for their family.

We’re now weeks away from the last day of 1st grade (I can’t believe it)! J did amazing with virtual learning, probably too well. I have no words for all that his teacher did for a large class of remote learners. He had a schedule of google meets throughout the day, independent work and extra work if he was up to it. He is always up for extra work. Since Kindergarten, he has always created his own “extra homework.” He’s reading almost two grade levels ahead of where he is and has learned so much this year. There was an adjustment period in the beginning of not wanting to see himself on the screen during his google meets, not wanting to talk in front of everyone, etc. That went away quickly and he now loves to participate.

No one could have predicted the craziness of the 2020/2021 school year. I’m so thankful to teachers everywhere that went above and beyond for an experience no one was prepared for. Parents – you all made it through! The days were long and sometimes stressful, but we did it!

J’s school is Kindergarten through 2nd grade. His first year was cut short and now he’ll be returning in September for one year before moving on to a new school. It makes me sad that he didn’t get the normalcy and the amount of time he could have in a school we love.

Sometimes it’s not about sensory processing or anxiety, sometimes school doesn’t look like you imagined because of circumstances outside the home. The same can be said for parenting. We need to remember to expect the unexpected, go with the flow, do the best we can and take things one day at a time.

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 3

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Taking the School Bus

Back in my day, there were walkers and bussers. Walkers were the kids who lived too close to the school and didn’t qualify for bus services. Bussers, well that one is obvious. I was a walker.

When registering ‘J’ for school, we had to sign forms for him to take the bus and were told we would receive a bus pass prior to school starting. I asked if I was able to drive him myself or if he was required to take the bus. The woman was taken aback by the question and said of course I could take him but that every child had the ability to take the bus.

I knew ‘J’ would never go for it.

We did try though. We talked to him about it and asked if he wanted to try. It was a big no. At the time, his sister was 2 and stated “I’m gonna take the bus when I go to school!”

We figured we would start the school year with me bringing him, and maybe once he saw friends taking the bus, he would want to as well. One day he finally agreed to take it home from school. This was huge!

I received a message from his teacher saying that he started to cry once he realized it was time to line up and walk out to the bus. She let me know his friends consoled him and all chanted his name. This made my heart melt. Once they got outside, the Principal and Vice Principal were also cheering him on. He went onto the bus in tears.

My biggest fear was that he’d try to run. When faced with fight or flight, he typically choose flight. We had prepped him leading up to it; we would meet him at the bus stop and he should not to get off the bus until he saw us. But we were still a bit nervous.

My husband, J’s sister and I all went to the corner to wait for him. We were talking to a neighbor when we heard honking, we look over and the bus had pulled up right in front of the house. We ran over and he walked off the bus in a pile of tears and sniffles. He did it! He rode the bus! Something he was so nervous about but he made it through.

He made it clear he never wanted to do it again.

The only other time he has taken the bus since that day was for his only field trip. They went to see a stage show of Frosty the Snowman. He sat next to his teacher and did great. I think being with his whole class, having the comfort of his teacher there and knowing I was picking him up once he returned to school helped to make that bus ride a whole lot easier.

Truth be told, having never taken a school bus myself (except for field trips), I was totally fine with the idea of picking him up and dropping him off. I just want him to always know the option is there for more independence. If he changes his mind one day and wants to ride the bus with his friends, we will support it. If not, that’s ok too.

In the final part of this series, I will discuss our experience with school closing due to Covid.

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 2

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Holiday Assemblies

I hate attention. I say this as someone who co-hosts two podcasts and does YouTube Lives. Guess you could say I’m a bit of an introvert/extrovert. When I was in school, I never liked public speaking, performing in a play, answering questions just in case I was wrong even when I knew I was right, etc. I was way too nervous. A little shy. Was there more to it than that? The early stages of my own anxiety? Probably.

I mentioned in the previous blog how much ‘J’ loved Kindergarten and that is 100% true. HOWever, once he started practicing for his Holiday Assembly, things started to shift. Especially when he went into the auditorium for rehearsals. The size of the stage, the bright lights, the echo, he was not feeling any of it. He didn’t want to sing the songs he had been singing all month long in and out of school. He didn’t want to be up on stage in front of everyone, he wanted nothing to do with it.

On the day of the performance, it was an extra hard drop off. His teacher was amazing and in the days leading up to it, she told him that he could stay with her until he was comfortable to go up on stage. Since this was December, 2019, we were able to go to the school to watch. There would also be a gingerbread house decorating activity after the performance for families.

The three of us walked into school to sign in for the show. I looked down the hall to ‘J’s” classroom, his teacher made eye contact with us and waived us down. I knew things weren’t good. We walked down to the end of the hallway to his classroom and saw him behind a desk, eating a graham cracker with puffy eyes. His friends were around him, checking in on him and telling him everything would be ok. He looked up to see us and ran right into my arms crying. All four of us went to the auditorium together and took our seats, right in front of the stage, behind his teacher.

His class walked in and took their spots on stage. We asked him if he wanted to go up with them and he said no. His teacher asked if he wanted to sit next to her and he said no. He stayed on my lap the whole time, watching his friends sing the songs he grew to love.

The thing about ‘J’ is, when he gets himself worked up to the point of not participating in something, he never feels like he’s missing out. He feels relieved, happy and content. He was happy to be watching his friends and cheered them on. Afterwards, we were all at one long table, building gingerbread houses together and all his anxiety was lifted. He returned to the happy boy he is, laughing with his friends.

Our heart breaks watching him struggle with new situations. His anxiety spikes, he wants to run away, he cries. As parents, we want the best for him and for him to be able to branch out and try new things. At the same time, he knows what he likes and what makes him comfortable. Sometimes he does need that nudge, like going into school. But other times, if something is overwhelming him to the point of tears, is it worth the push? We’ve seen the outcome of that and it’s typically not good.

Seeing your child on stage for the first time may be something you’ve thought about with excitement. And it may turn out exactly how you imagined. But there is that chance that it just may not go according to plan.

In Part 3, I’ll chat about taking the Bus.

School May Not Look Like You Imagined: Part 1

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The First Day of School

During my blog hiatus, I thought about a lot of different posts I wanted to do and this was one of them.

‘J’ is coming up on finishing 1st grade.

<Excuse me while I go cry.>

When starting Kindergarten last year, ‘J’ was so nervous. While most kids were posing in front of the big “First Day of School” signs in front of the school, I was focused on just getting him out of the car and through the front doors. I asked if I could take a picture of him, but I already knew the answer – no. In the world of social media, I knew all these parents would have pictures of their kids with the signs, posting them everywhere, and showing off those “perfect” moments.

Did the fact that I wouldn’t be a part of that bother me? No. Because it doesn’t matter! Social Media is not real life. It shows real moments in the midst of life but at the end of the day it’s not what matters. I say this as someone that incorporates social media into her daily life, so I’m not judging others that do the same!

The thing that mattered most to me was making sure ‘J’ was ok and had the best 1st day possible. We arranged a walk through of the school the week prior. He got to meet his Vice Principal, see his classroom, check out the cafeteria, specials classrooms and got a feel of the school. We made a social story for him that we read in the days leading up to school. Anything that was going to help with this transition, we were all about. The Vice Principal and I had a chat about how he may need some help on the first day.

And he did. He was so nervous, even after seeing a friend. As soon as the doors open, he was crying and clinging to me. I made eye contact with the Vice Principal, she came right over, pulled him off of me and walked him into school. I turned around, held my breath and cried in my car.

The tears were a mix of things:

Relief – I did it! He’s at school, he’s going to love it, I just had to get him there. (Just as a note: my husband read him his social story and pep talked him along the way. But we decided for drop off, it would be best for just a 1:1 instead of all four of us.)

Mom Guilt – Oh my God, I just left my baby boy in a new school with strangers! Knowing this was silly and I’d laugh about it later, in the moment, it was hard letting go.

Nervous – Knowing he would be fine, but hoping I wasn’t going to get a call during the day that the tears hadn’t stopped.

As the year went on, some drop offs were better than others but none were perfect. He never walked into school excited. BUT he absolutely loved everything about school. His teacher, friends he made, what he was learning, his specials, all of it. He was so happy during the hours of 8:10 and 2:15. From 8:09-8:10, not so much.

If your child has sensory processing difficulties and anxiety or maybe they’re shy and want to approach school experiences differently, my best advice would be to follow their lead. Go with the flow. Don’t feel the pressure of other parents, your own family, social media or what someone may see as “normal.” If you get that perfect picture in front of their new school, great! If you got one at home (like we did), fantastic! If you get none, oh well! As long as they were happy, you got through the first day as a parent and they got through the first day as a kid, that’s all that matters.

In Part 2 I’ll chat about Holiday Assemblies.

Let’s Go to CAMP!

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Before we start, there’s no need to pack your tent, sleeping bags or s’mores ingredients, because I’m referring to a different kind of Camp.

On second thought, you should never not pack s’mores ingredients.

Camp, a family experience company, currently has five locations in three states: New York, Connecticut and Texas. Each location is based on a different camp experience:

  • Base Camp: Explore and discover the wonders of nature, arts & crafts, sports, theatre and fun.
  • Toy Lab Camp: Test and shop for the best toys of the season.
  • Travel Camp: Explore the wonders of the world.
  • Cooking Camp: Explore the evolution of food; from farm to our kitchen table.

You can learn more about Camp by visiting camp.com and by listening to the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast, with special guests Counselor Dan and Counselor Matt!

My work history includes experiential marketing and retail, but hearing about Camp, blew anything I knew out of the water. Being a mom, I love immersive experiences for the whole family and that’s exactly what Camp provides. The best part is, if you’re not near a location, you can take part in their virtual experiences. Unfortunately, I haven’t visited a Camp location yet, but it is on my To-Do list so stay tuned for a follow up!

You can also shop their educational based products in person or online. Here are a few products that stood out to me (descriptions pulled from camp.com):

Fat Brain Dimpl Duo

For 12+ months, one side has silicone buttons embossed with different shapes, with their matching words labeled in English and Braille. Flip the whole thing over and the buttons are smooth, and the words match the colors.

Mad Mattr

For ages 3+, not only is Mad Mattr perfect for creating calm, relaxing and imaginative fun, it’s also great for strengthening fingers, hands, wrists, and more.

Fat Brain SpinAgain

For ages 12 months+, this toy is designed to combine the early developmental benefits of stacking with the thrill of watching colorful discs that corkscrew down, down, down the pole. They can make a rainbow, arrange pieces by size and shape, or just go rogue like some kind of twisted toddler. 

Camp.com is full of Sensory, STEM and Educational toys and books, you definitely need to check out all they have to offer.

You can follow @CampStores on Instagram and Facebook. You can also subscribe to Camp on YouTube for past virtual experiences, as well as Music Mondays!

*I am not affiliate of Camp, nor am I sponsored by Camp. I just think it’s awesome!

Happy Earth Day!

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Picture it: 5 AM in my house (said in my Sophia Petrillo voice):

‘J’ wakes up, comes into our room and excitedly whispers IT’S EARTH DAY IT’S EARTH DAY!

Do I love how into Earth Day he is? YES

Do I love how he wants to learn more about helping the environment? YES

Do I love that he wanted to buy the Earth a gift? YES

Do I love that he acted like it was Christmas morning and woke everyone else up? No, no I don’t. But hey, ya win some ya lose some.

‘J’ has been learning about Earth Day this week in school. He’s learned all about reducing, reusing and recycling. Watching all of this reminds me that each generation gets smarter. It’s awesome being a fly on the wall to watch it all.

‘J’ and his sister were all in for some Earth Day photos. We worked on arts and crafts by reusing various materials and planted some flowers in old coffee cans. How did you celebrate Earth Day?

L to R: Creating the earth with a paper plate, paint and a ziplock bag, Making flowers out of recycled paper, planting flowers in old coffee cans

Special Ed Rising

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I love sharing other great resources!

My friend Mark, recently started a blog: specialedrising.com. Special Ed Rising is a joyful place for sharing, learning, celebrating and discovery. Mark’s background contains over 30 years of experience in special education and ASL. His site is a fantastic resource for the special needs community, as well as a place for others to share their story.

On this week’s episode of the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast, we had Mark on to talk more about his site. You can listen to that episode by clicking here.

The Battle of Tooth

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Losing a 1st tooth is a major milestone. Adult teeth want to come through, so the baby teeth need to go. It’s also another sign for a parent that time goes by so fast and my babies are getting bigger by the second. Excuse me while I go cry.

Ok I’m back. Enough about me, let’s talk about ‘J’s experience losing his first tooth.

One day when I was picking him up from school last year, a boy, also in Kindergarten, was leaving a little early with his mom because he had lost a tooth. That was the moment where I thought “oh my goodness, is this when they start losing teeth?!”

That night, I started talking to ‘J’ about losing his baby teeth. Explaining to a sensory kid that his teeth were going to fall out, did not go over well. At that point, none of his teeth were loose and we left it alone.

Now in 1st grade, most of his friends are showing up to class displaying their new toothless smiles daily. ‘J’s’ bottom two teeth have been a little wiggly for awhile and he would fall asleep sometimes wiggling them. Until it got too real. Once they got looser, he realized this was going to happen soon and he was not happy about it. He didn’t want us checking them, he didn’t want to wiggle them anymore and teeth brushing became more of a battle. For about a week one tooth was barely hanging on, and although he had fears of swallowing it in his sleep, he didn’t want us to get it out either.

The other day, as he was playing in the morning, he started crying and freaking out. His tooth had basically come out, but was now laying on top of his gum. He was so scared, didn’t want us to go near him, was talking without opening his mouth. I was trying everything and by everything, I mean bribes.

Want to watch a YouTube show you don’t get to watch often?

How about lunch at McD’s?

Nothing was working. Out of no where, he had been sitting on the floor, climbed up on the couch, looked at me and started crying hysterically. And I knew why.

I told him to try to breathe and stay still, had him open his mouth and got the tooth out from under his tongue. He continued to cry for a few minutes after. He looked at himself in the mirror and cried some more because he looked different. He worried about what other people would think of him missing a tooth, sad that the baby tooth was gone and wishing he was still a baby so he didn’t have to lose teeth. All was heartbreaking to watch and a hard experience for him to go through. Not to mention his 4 year old sister may be a bit traumatized having witnessed weeks of turmoil regarding this tooth.

Days later, he’s feeling better and getting more used to his new look. The neighboring tooth is ready to go, so I think his second experience will be happening sooner rather than later.

Sensory kids feel things a lot more than other kids. Their senses are heightened and what may seem like a fun milestone to someone, may not be to another. This is similar to other challenges on a day to day basis. What may be easy for one person, may be a struggle for another. It’s important to remember to have patience and understanding for any individual’s experience.

Is Speech Therapy Still a Part of Our Lives?

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Yes!

Once ‘J’ went to Kindergarten, we had to part ways with his Speech Therapist that he had been seeing since he was 2. I may have been the most distraught, buuuuut luckily she will always be family to us!

For the last two years, ‘J’ has been working with the school’s speech therapist who has been great. He’s been working hard on the sounds that still give him pause and has been progressing nicely along the way. After talking with his Speech Therapist, he will no longer be receiving an IEP for speech next year, but will be receiving speech through the school. Not too much of a change for him, just less paperwork on the back end. His mind tends to move faster than the words come out, so conversationally, it’ll be great for him to continue receiving services. We can all hear the difference speech therapy has made for him over the years.

As I mentioned in the last blog, I co-host the Magical Mommy Monday podcast. Remember that speech therapist that is now family? She was kind enough to come on and chat with us. I may have cried….just a tad…due to the impact she’s had on our life and the love she has for ‘J.’

Click here to listen to the episode and learn more about speech therapy.

Magical Mommy Monday Meets Sensory Spectacle

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If you’ve checked out my previous blogs, then you saw a series written by Becky Lyddon, founder of Sensory Spectacle.

Fun fact: I host two podcasts! One is Theme Park Thursday with Dillo’s Diz, with my brother, where we focus on Disney nostalgia. The other is Magical Mommy Monday with my friend, Angela Dahlgren.

Ok, now that the cheap plugs are done, we can move on.

Becky was kind enough to take time out of quarantine to chat with us on the Magical Mommy Monday Podcast. Along with her amazing YouTube videos and her website containing trainings, she also has a podcast as well.

Click here to check out episode with Becky to learn more about her background, sensory processing and Sensory Spectacle!

You can visit Becky’s one stop shop for Sensory Spectacle here: https://www.sensoryspectacle.co.uk/