Although the holiday season can be magical, joyful, and full of tradition, it can feel loud, overwhelming, unpredictable, and exhausting. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
On my latest Just My MomSense podcast episode, I talk more about why the holidays can be so overstimulating, how anxiety and sensory challenges feed into each other, and what we can do to help our kids (and ourselves) move through the season with more calm.
You can listen here or on your favorite podcasting platform!
Last Tuesday was the first day of school in my area. We had an awesome summer full of fun, family, travel and friends! That would be a tough one to transition from normally, but this year both of my kids were going into new schools. If you’ve read this blog before, then you can probably assume that this caused plenty of anticipatory anxiety in my house.
Last week, as we were navigating first-day jitters, endless forms, and figuring out new drop-off times, my husband and I reminded the kids (and ourselves):
You don’t have to do the whole school year today. You only have to do today.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the big picture:
But when we focus on everything all at once, it feels overwhelming before we even begin. That’s true for our kids, and it’s true for us as parents. We’ve been working on breaking it down into manageable pieces. Today we wake up, we eat breakfast, we get to school, we do our best. That’s it. Tomorrow we’ll do it again. One day at a time.
As I write this, the Sunday Scaries are creeping in. If you deal with that too (as an adult or child), know that you’re not alone. Keep taking everything one day at a time. Look for the small victories, the things to celebrate and the mishaps to learn from.
We don’t have to do all the days, we just have to do today.
There’s something powerful about scent. It has an ability to transport you to another time, calm your nerves, or even boost your energy. As a mom of two kids who navigate anxiety daily, I’m always looking for simple, natural tools to help ease our days.
I’ve always been aware of the benefits of aromatherapy and will often utilize Lavender oil at bedtime or as part of their sensory bins, as mentioned in a previous blog. But, it had been awhile since I had rollers in the house. I thought it was about time to order more.
Let’s start with peppermint. This was my go-to when I worked in office environments and would get headaches. My co-workers and I would always roll peppermint oil across our foreheads for some relief. At least the office smelled nice, right?
Peppermint was one of two rollers I ordered for the household. A quick roll on the wrists or a gentle inhale before tackling the day can help ease tensions and provide a positive pick-me-up.
Lavender was the other oil I ordered, since we were already fans. The rollers and the weighted blankets, as discussed in a previous blog, arrived on the same day. My 10 year old was on the couch watching football. I put the blanket over him and rolled some lavender on his wrists. Immediately he said “is this the best day of my life?” Clearly it’s a hit.
Anxiety can sneak up on my kids (and, let’s be honest, me too), especially right before bed. Lavender has been our go-to for these moments.
I have noticed that my 7 year old prefers the Peppermint and the 10 year old, the Lavender. But at bedtime, Lavender seems to win overall. They find the scents relaxing and are able to ask for the rollers now.
So why does something as simple as scent work so well? Certain scents can trigger the brain’s limbic system, which controls emotions, memory, and even heart rate. Peppermint is known to stimulate and invigorate, while lavender is widely celebrated for its calming and relaxing properties. For us, it’s less about the science and more about the results we’re seeing—and smelling.
If you’re thinking about giving this a try, here are a few tips:
Sometimes, it’s the smallest changes that make the biggest difference. Adding these essential oil rollers to our lives hasn’t solved all our challenges, but it has given us another tool to navigate them with a little more ease. And you know how I am about having tools!
So, if you’ve been curious about the power of scent, I’d encourage you to give it a try. You might just find that a little peppermint and lavender are exactly what your family needs too. You can check out the rollers I ordered under the Essential header over on the These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things page.
There are no words for the excitement both of my kids had once their weighted blankets were delivered and they were under the covers!
The two we bought are linked on the “These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things” page.
These blankets provide gentle, evenly distributed pressure across the body. This comforting sensation, often called “deep touch pressure,” feels like a warm hug and can work wonders for your mind and body. Whether you’re looking for better sleep, stress relief, or sensory support, weighted blankets offer benefits for everyone—kids and adults alike.
There are so many benefits to a weighted blanket:
I’m big on putting as many tools in your tool box as you can. Sometimes that is something you can do like a breathing technique and others it can be an actual item. Weighted blankets are a tool for better sleep, less stress, and sensory balance. Our kids love their blankets!
Have you tried a weighted blanket? I’d love to hear how it’s worked for you. Drop your thoughts in the comments!
If you’d like to see the weighted blankets we picked out on Amazon (as pictured below), you can check them out here, along with a few of our other favorite things!
Anxiety is a very real thing.
If you grew up in the 80s and 90s (or earlier) like I did, then chances are anxiety wasn’t really discussed. When I look back at my childhood, I see difficulties I had…which was actually anxiety.
I personally find it hard to believe that in 2024 people still try to deny anxiety as a real thing or, on the other side, act like it can be easily cured. There is no quick fix. It isn’t something someone can just get over. It’s something you need tools for. Something you have to work on constantly. This is true in both adults and kids.
Bill Hader made a video for Child Mind Institute a few years back to talk about his anxiety. He makes a great analogy how he now works with it instead of feeling attacked by it:
I’ve wrote a lot about sensory overload and how overwhelmed anyone can be in different settings which may cause them to react in different ways. Sensory and Anxiety go hand in hand.
Children with sensory processing disorder often benefit from routine and predictability, as it helps to reduce anxiety and provide a sense of stability. – The Out-of-Sync Child
I see a difference in my kids’ anxiety when I can stick to a routine and also ensure they’re getting some sort of physical activity everyday. But that’s hard to do right? Life happens. People get sick, events pop up, not everyday can be a perfect copy/paste. Along with many other parents, I try my best.
There are so many great resources, toys and more that can help with both sensory needs and support anxiety. Check out A Few Of My Favorite Things for book suggestions and more!
There is so much available now for those who are dealing with anxiety themselves or live with someone experiencing anxiety. Searching on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and of course Google can lead you to an entire world of learning more. Below are just two of many links (since I don’t want to overwhelm you) that speak to Sensory and Anxiety specifically:
Sensory Anxiety: Not Your Normal Anxiety from the Star Insittute
Why We May See Similar Signs of Anxiety or Hyperactivity for People with SPD (A Video)
Anxiety will look different for everyone. Keep learning, keep breathing and find the tools to support you and those your love.
The overall objective of World Mental Health Day is to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide. – World Health Organization
There is no shame in taking care of your mental health. There is no shame in admitting you need help to take care of your mental health. There is no shame in talking to others about your mental health.
I recognize that in 2023 there is still a stigma when in comes to discussing mental health. I realize there is still a stigma when people talk about going to therapy. However, I am thankful that the stigma seems to be diminishing as each year passes. As it should, right?
It’s hard to talk about sensory difficulties without talking about anxiety. They go hand in hand and can feed off each other easily. Providing your children with the right tools to help them overcome any of their challenges as early as possible can make such a difference. Whether that is speech therapy, occupational therapy, talk therapy, play therapy, while also working with them at home, it can all change how you and your child communicate and get through the day to day.
As a mom, talking to another parent that may be reading this, please know that taking care of your mental health is so important. It’s great to have a support system around you and some are lucky to have that. Whether you do or you don’t, it’s ok to also ask for additional help. Talking to a therapist, meditation, and working on yourself can do wonders for your kids. If you are not regulated, they won’t be either. Being a parent is tough, add having a child with anxiety, sensory difficulties, health issues or any other challenges and being a parent just got tougher. Please take care of yourselves as well.
During World Mental Health Day, I wish for kindness and compassion for all of us. I wish for everyone to feel peace and happiness. For those that aren’t feeling that way, please know it’s ok to ask for help.
Helpful Links:
I recently purchased Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala to have as a source of reference for my kids.
However, for today, I want to chat about reading it on your own, as a parent.
Description from the back of the book:
Many kids suffer from an overactive “Fight or Flight” response, which can affect them in all areas of their lives. Follow Poppy as she explains some of her struggles with anxiety, anger, and friendships as a kid with an overactive amygdala. This book was created to help build understanding and empathy for children with a wide range of mental health challenges. This type of behavior can be seen in many children, including but not limited to those kids with DMDD, ADHD, ODD, Anxiety, Bipolar disorder, PANS/PANDAS, RAD, Autism disorders, PTSD, IED, and Conduct disorder, among others. While many of the children struggle with comprehension of their disorder, they all have one important factor in common. They did not choose this. As adults, we have a responsibility to build understanding, encourage empathy, and continue to grow our own set of skills and knowledge in order to best serve our most vulnerable population: Children.
Both of my kids have anxiety and one has confirmed sensory processing difficulties. Here is what I already know: going through everyday activities that we all take for granted, can be really tough for someone with sensory processing difficulties and anxiety. Here is what I need to be reminded of: going through everyday activities that we all take for granted, can be really tough for someone with sensory processing difficulties and anxiety. I try my best to continue to educate myself, to listen to podcasts, read books or social media and watch videos, all in an effort to make sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to make things just a little easier. But, I am also human. I have good days and bad. I’m always juggling all the things in life. And sometimes, I start to take the day to day for granted and slip back into needing a reminder.
This book is a good reminder. A reminder of the emotional storm that can happen quickly and easily inside a child. It talks about the ups and downs, the negative thoughts they experience and what adults can do to help them through it.
If you’re like me and aren’t always perfect, I recommend you read through Poppy and the Overactive Amygdala, on your own, thinking of your child going through the things that are described. It may be just the reminder you need to get yourself back into the routine.
I have links to this book and a few others on my “A Few of My Favorite Things” page which you can access by clicking here.
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After 4 months in the house, the uncertainty of the new school year and ‘J’s’ overall anxiety, we decided to look into having him talk to a therapist.
Last year, the plan was to have him start working on his daily challenges with an Occupational Therapist and then in the summer add in an aspect of therapy to focus on his social and separation anxiety. We originally thought this would happen in a group setting with other kids and had found a great place that focused on play therapy. With Covid, plans were ever-changing.
I reached out to the school psychologist to see if she had any recommendations for an outside psychologist. After researching and making sure our insurance would be taken, we were able to make an appointment. ‘J’ was nervous at first, especially after the previous 4 months, but warmed up quickly.
‘J’ has been going to therapy weekly for about 6 months now. There’s a mix of talking, playing games and focusing on tools he can use in moments of frustration or anxiety. Most adults aren’t able to keep their emotions in tact and think before they act, so of course a 6 year old is going to struggle a bit too. Especially when big feelings come up out of no where. Some days or moments are tougher than others but he works hard, as do we, to mitigate the anxieties that arise.
I’ve said this before, but if you were to meet ‘J,’ chances are you would never see or know the challenges he has. He may go 3 weeks without a care in the world. He may have an entire week where he is on edge, fully of anxiety and just getting dressed in the morning or having lunch could seem incredibly overwhelming. Other times, it could just be a fleeting moment where he can breathe through it and move on.
He is easily overwhelmed and when he has a list of assignments to complete, something surprises him, or there’s too much noise and commotion, he can shut down quickly. Something that didn’t affect him yesterday, could affect him tomorrow.
We are so proud at how well he has done with school being virtual. The consistency of knowing what his day to day would be was a big selling factor for us decided to do 100% virtual. His teacher is great, he’s learning so much and is now acting like a CEO with all of his google meets. Those moments, days or weeks do happen, in the same way they would happen when he went to school and would come home to let it all out.
We all have to remember to keep breathing through the challenges, think before reacting and not take our day to day for granted. What may seem like something silly to us, could be major for someone with Sensory Processing difficulties.
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